Yearly Archives: 2013

shindig

I do love a good shindig, don’t you? Maybe some dishes to dig into, glasses of shandy and Guinness, dancing to music you can dig with people you’ll take a shine to… Shell out a few shinplasters and frug the night away! Dig your shins into it! Whatever that means.

I guess dancing is like digging shins… somehow… Actually, shindig could as easily be a paleontological excavation (along with skulldig and ribdig and so on). But it’s not. And it could be a kick in the shins in repayment for some subtle dig. But it’s… well, actually, that’s the first recorded sense for shindig. But no one’s used it that way for 150 years, as far as I know, so we can ignore that in favour of the ‘party’ sense – and the other sense of a donnybrook, a knockabout, a brawl.

Duane Aubin suggested this word, and noted,

This is one of those words that just feels good in the mouth, to me anyway. It’s got an “upness” to it with its ascenders and dots lifting the i’s and lifting the eyes; “dig” offers that anchoring descender that provides a surprisingly and balancing crisp resolution to the exclusively voiced consonants…

Yup, I do like it too. It starts with the teeth close together and the tongue up front for the slushy splash of “sh,” then it presses onto the tongue tip softly and then hardening in “nd,” and finally slides to the back and digs in at “g.” The vowels are both mid-high front, requiring little movement of the tongue and none of the lips. The whole thing is like a rake’s progress at a pool party: splash and swim, relax into cushy chairs, fall asleep (or anyway become recumbent) at the back. It has arms up in the air h d, hands holding up lit lighters (or phones) as at a concert i i, and finally that g that is like the s getting loose and low.

So where does it come from? Not, it seems, simply from shin plus dig. Oh, those two words are undoubtedly the reason it took this final form from its previous, but this was likely a matter of plastic surgery, not creation ex nihilo. Before it was shindig, this word was (the evidence suggests) shindy. What was that? The noun that was, before that, shinty. Oh, so what was that? The noun that was, before that, shinny.

Which, according to the OED, is basically field hockey, although in Canada it’s informal generally rule-free hockey played on ponds or streets or occasionally on cheap rec ice. Oh, and where does the word shinny come from? It seems to be based on some shout by the players of the old field hockey game, “Shin ye!” – that’s really helpful, now, isn’t it.

The shin, in any event, appears to come from the lower leg bone. So it’s pulled away from its direct sense and come back around to it again. Can you dig that?

Fnu Lnu

Does this look like fnu? I mean fun? What do you reckon it is? If you read the New York Times, you may already know the answer, but if you don’t, I’ll tell you that it’s a name for a person.

Not really a name like any you usually see, is it? Certainly it’s not in keeping with English phonotactics. Anglophones, looking at it, will tend to say “Fuh-noo Luh-noo.” Since we can’t start a syllable with /fn/ or /ln/, we tend by instinct to turn it into something that fits the rules of English pronunciation by stuffing in a vowel. This is like how an Italian speaker might say like as “like-a” or a Spanish speaker might say spoon as “espoon”: they’re not used to pronouncing the consonants in those positions, so they add a vowel to make it an allowable syllable.

There’s nothing intrinsically unpronounceable about /fn/ or /ln/. You can say toughness and wellness; those have the /fn/ and /ln/ across syllable boundaries, but you’re saying the sounds next to each other – syllables are mental, not physical, constraints. Say “ffff” and then break into “no”: “fffffffno!” It’s just a matter of getting used to it to make the /f/ shorter to say /fno/. Now say “helllllllno!” Drop the “he” and say “lllllno!” Same deal – just shorten the /l/ and make /lno/. It’s nothing other than mental barriers keeping us from say Fnu Lnu just as written.

It’s true that you don’t see /fn/ or /ln/ combinations in all that many languages. We have a combination similar to /fn/ in English: /sn/. But /s/ is more strident than /f/; it stands out more. It’s also two sounds made in the same place, whereas /fn/ moves from the teeth and lips to the tongue. So /sn/ is a little more likely to be found than /fn/, since /fn/ may over time shift to become /sn/ for ease and better sound. On the other hand, /ln/ is said in the same place – the tip of the tongue doesn’t move – but that’s part of the reason for its rarity: the lateral /l/ sounds almost too similar to /n/ when it’s next to it. You’re quite likely to get assimilation, so it becomes /ll/ or /nn/, and then maybe just /l/ or /n/. So both words, Fnu and Lnu, are possible and are not hard to say, but they are less likely to be found in a given language.

So what language is this name Fnu Lnu from?

Judi Tull, of the Newport News Daily Press, must have been wondering that in 1994 when she reported on an indictment containing the name. Not too long after the article went to press, she found out. And so on a subsequent day the newspaper published the following:

An article in Saturday’s Local section incorrectly reported that a suspect identified as “Fnu Lnu” had been indicted by a federal grand jury. “Fnu Lnu” is not a name. FNU is a law enforcement abbreviation for “first name unknown,” LNU for “last name unknown.” Officials knew the suspect only by the nickname ‘Dezo.’

In other words, Fnu Lnu is something that was just put in to fill a gap, and was misread. So, since it’s English, say it as you will. But really, if you say “fuh-noo luh-noo,” you’ll be reading in something that’s not there, just to fill a gap.

And, hey, I didn’t say it really was a person’s name. I just said I’ll tell you that it’s a name for a person.

A play called Fnu Lnu was written and produced off-Broadway, inspired by the erratum. And the abbreviation is still in use. Read more in the January 4, 1998, Daily Press and in the July 15, 2013, New York Times.

Toto

On the way back from a weekend at a friend’s cottage, we had Toto’s CD IV playing in the car – the one with “Rosanna” and “Africa” on it. I first bought that as a record when it came out, when I was in high school. Thanks to it, I always think of two things when I hear the word Toto. The other thing, of course, is Dorothy’s little dog from The Wizard of Oz.

If this word were written all in lower-case, it could look mathematical: +0+0. In all upper case, it can still look geometric: TOTO. As a capitalized word, it mixes it up a bit more – the bar slides from the top to the middle – but it still has those two o’s.

And actually it can be an uncapitalized word. Not in English – in Latin. It’s an inflected form of the word for ‘all’. You’ll see it borrowed into English in the phrase in toto, ‘in all’ or ‘completely’.

As a proper noun, it’s more than just the dog and the band. There’s an Indo-Bhutanese people living in West Bengal, India, who are called the Toto. Toto can also be a nickname for someone named Antonio or Salvatore. It was a common enough nickname a century ago that Frank Baum may have picked it for Dorothy’s dog just because it was a known name and he liked the sound. Whatever reason Baum used it (he doesn’t seem ever to have said), the musical group Toto got the name from the dog – but that was originally a placeholder name for their first studio recording project. They ultimately decided to keep it, and were likely also positively influenced by the all-encompassing Latin sense.

It’s a nice, simple name, anyway. Two taps of the tongue behind the teeth; the lips holding rounded. Replace the /t/ sounds with something else and you can get oh-oh, no-no, gogo, dodo, so-so, cocoa, yo-yo…

There’s one other Toto that I really should keep in mind, since it’s the one I look at several times a day. This one is a brand name, actually short for Toyo Toki, a Japanese company. They are the world’s biggest manufacturer of… toilets. I’m sure it’s just coincidence that toilet also starts with to (on the page; when it’s spoken, you have to treat the /ɔɪ/ as an ensemble). Anyway, we have two of their very good low-flow toilets (perhaps one for Dorothy, and one for her little dog too). They use barely enough water to melt the Wicked Witch of the West, but they still do their job very well.

Linguistic invasion?

My latest piece for TheWeek.com looks at “foreign” words that have come to be important in our political and military English, and how they got there:

Linguistic invasion! The foreign influence of English’s political and military words

My next article will be about annoying noises people – adults, even – make and should stop making. Do you have any favourites? Let me know today or tomorrow if you can!

bunting

“Bye, baby bunting, Father’s gone a-hunting…”

You’ve probably heard or read that one sometime in your life, maybe around the same time as “See-saw, Margery Daw.” It may be the first thing that comes to your mind when you see bunting.

Bunting fits there; there aren’t a whole lot of rhymes for hunting, and this one has a /b/ to work with it, giving a nice bumping, bouncing sound, heavier than banter (or Banting) and less scrunchy than bunching, and sharper than bending. But, now, tell me: what exactly does bunting mean in that rhyme? There are several words bunting, with different meanings and apparently different origins (though they all have in common that the origin is uncertain…).

Perhaps it’s the bunting that refers to a kind of light, shiny fabric used for ribbons and flags and decorations at festivals and political events. These days it can be any of quite a few fabrics, often synthetic, but originally it was a kind of worsted wool. In a political race, the one who had not been bested got to bring out the worsted. But I don’t think that’s the bunting in the rhyme.

I’m pretty sure that the baby in question is not playing baseball, either, unless he’s a Babe Ruth. So we can rule out a relation to that verb bunt that refers to hitting a baseball without swinging the bat.

When a sail bunts, it’s not deflecting a ball; it’s swelling, bellying out in the middle. The word almost seems too hard for such a thing, but there it is: bunting can refer to the bellying or bulging of a sail, net, or similar thing. There is some suggestion that baby bunting may mean the kid is pudgy, perhaps fattening.

Or perhaps the baby is a bird of the family Emberizidae. These various types of buntings are small birds, rather like finches. We can imagine that Margery Daw might be a bird (specifically a daw, of course – wife of Jack Daw?), so perhaps baby bunting is, well, a baby bunting? But then there’s the issue of “Father’s gone a-hunting.” Buntings don’t really go hunting; they eat seeds, and such bugs as they might happen to get (depending on the species of bunting). But you may see a bunting on a hunting trip – as the hunted. In some places (notably around the Mediterranean), they shoot them. So that bye could be a rather permanent bye-bye.

scad

I’m sure you know this word in the plural: scads, as in scads of money or scads of any of various other things. Meaning ‘lots, plenty’ – but with that /æ/ vowel that can allow the same broad long sound as in “faaabulous” or just tap into the louche quality of skag and stab and scab and similar words, like a flat skid.

But when we say tons of money or loads of money or lots of money or gobs of money or or or, we know what tons, loads, lots, gobs, et cetera are when they’re at home. Any idea what a scad is when it’s not a whole bunch?

For me, as long as I’ve known any sense other than the ‘plenty’ one, it’s been ‘a sudden, brief rain shower’. Now, that makes decent sense. It even sort of sounds right for that meaning. But there’s just one problem: you’re not going to find that sense in your dictionary. Not Merriam-Webster, not American Heritage, not even Oxford. You will find it betokening a kind of wild black plum, a kind of fish of the Caranx genus, salmon fry, a slab of peat or tuft of grass, or – in Scotland – a word for a faint appearance of colour or light. And pretty much all these scads are of obscure or unknown origin. But a rain shower? No.

Egad. Did I make it up? No, I know where I learned that sense. I learned it from a play by Newfoundland playwright Michael Cook. That’s a sense of the word that is, or at least used to be, current in Newfoundland. You can check the Dictionary of Newfoundland English. So if you’re a Newfoundlander out fishing for cod or shad, a scad can make you skid on the deck as your boat scuds on the ocean. I don’t know if there’s any link between this scad and the ‘plenty’ one; the shower scad appears to be related to a noun scud. Perhaps they came from the same place.

But we don’t know for sure. Like a good scad, the word just shows up from who-knows-where and does its stuff. Lots of stuff. Scads.

freshet

This word has a splash of refreshment in its sound, like Suzanne Pleshette with a bottle of Freixenet. In fact, it almost sounds like a brand name for plug-in air fresheners or mouthwash strips. Or it could be some little thing you catch in a fish net, or a female freshman, or a refreshed fourchette (French fork), or some hip-hop artist, or…

Just listen to how it splashes, like a Ferrari into a flooded underpass! First with the [f], then the swelling up of the liquid [r], then opening to the mid-front [ɛ] before the big splash of [ʃ] and the quick deceleration and downsplash of [ɪt]. Is it perhaps a quick rainstorm?

Close! It’s a sudden flood of a stream or river due to rain, melting snow, both, or something else. This word looks like it comes from fresh, and in fact it does. Originally it was just a name for a freshwater stream that flows into the sea, but by the mid-1600s it had gained the additional specific meaning of a quick flood of a fresh stream.

In short, it’s what Cougar Creek in Canmore and Exshaw Creek in Exshaw and the Elbow River in Calgary became a couple of weeks ago, and what the Don River and a few other streams became this afternoon in Toronto. Quick as a whisternefet (a sharp slap), a simple flow of fresh water flashed into flood form. Just because before the stream could empty, more and more water came to refreshet. Freshet’s sake…

tardigrade

Don’t know what a tardigrade is? Well, going by the word, what would you expect? Something scholastic, perhaps? After all, tardy is a word for ‘late’ used only by teachers, and usually just the ones you don’t like much, and grade is a school word par excellence. Or maybe it’s an Eastern Europe city, like Belgrade? Or perhaps it’s something science-fictiony… there is that echo of TARDIS, after all.

Well, imagine a creature that can survive in outer space. Imagine one that already has. On a space shuttle. Outside a space shuttle. This is a beastie that can withstand pressures several times as strong as those at the bottom of the ocean. It can withstand temperatures well above boiling, and close to absolute zero. It can withstand radiation in doses hundreds of times what would kill you or me. It can go without food and water for years. It can survive indefinite dehydration to 3% of its usual body water or less and then, when rehydrated, go on as if nothing had happened.

I mean, holy cow. And it’s got claws like bears. Eight of them: four pairs of legs. And it has a hard shell, and lays eggs. And it looks like a bear with no eyes and a mouth like an auger or something: apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap130306.html. And it’s everywhere. Go for a stroll in a forest and they’re probably all around you. Dude, I’m not making this up.

Naturally, the only sort of critter that could possibly do and be all this is a very small one. And thank your lucky stars for this. (Some people think tardigrades actually came from nearby stars. It’s not entirely implausible.) Tardigrades are generally less than a millimetre long. (For my American readers, a millimetre is about 1/24 of an inch. Oh, and by the way, only three countries in the world don’t use metric: the US, Liberia, and Myanmar. Just going to leave that with you.)

A couple more things: it’s also called a water bear, and it lumbers kind of like a bear too. It’s not an especially fast-moving thing. In fact, that’s where its name comes from: Latin tardus ‘slow’ and gradus ‘walking’, by way of French. This indestructible intergalactic juggernaut is at least not a fast-moving one.

And, just to complete the picture, I must tell you it’s a stripper too. You may know that the fancy term for a stripper (peeler, exotic dancer) is ecdysiast. Well, tardigrades belong to the superphylum ecdysozoa – stripper life-forms. They shed their outer layers every so often – moulting, or, as biologists call it, ecdysis.

Isn’t that just incredibly charming and pleasant? Click-drag this beastie to about ten thousand times its current dimensions and you have something pretty near perfect for a sci-fi horror flick. But maybe give it a different name, something with a little less tard and grade.

Morley

There is one last Bow Valley place name that I find I can’t avoid treating on. It’s the place I actually lived for much of my childhood, the community that my parents were connected with. For me, in a strange way, it both was and was not my home.

Morley.

This name may have an easy familiarity for you from many places. There are many people with that name, first and last: Morley Safer the journalist, Morley Callaghan the author, the female protagonist of Stuart Maclean’s weekly narratives on CBC, Thomas Morley the composer, Robert Morley the actor, Edward Morley the scientist – famous for the Michaelson-Morley experiment, which was a seminal step in the proof that the speed of light is invariant in a vacuum and thus an early harbinger of Einstein’s relativity…

All of these, and more, make me think of Morley, Alberta. So, to some extent, does the name Marley; so too, Mexican mole sauce; a taste of it in Westmoreland; perhaps in murmur; some in mouldy; even in more and nevermore. An antonym in Lesley or Leslie. You see, Morley was one of the earliest names I ever knew. I think I knew Morley was home around the same time I knew Harbeck was my family name.

And yet.

When I was a little kid, it was all I knew. I joined my parents everywhere. I trailed them around as my father greeted, one by one, ever single person at the banquet, or the tent meeting, or the house meeting, or the pow-wow, over and over, “Âba wathtech,” shake hands. Long chats in a language I didn’t know. At pow-wows, the sounds of drumming and singing. At house meetings in one house or another on the reserve, song after song after song – “What a Friend We Have In Jesus,” “Amazing Grace,” all the classics, and long testimonies and long prayers, some in English, some in Stoney, many switching back and forth. The older people making cooing noises over little me, calling me by my Stoney name, “Îpabi Daguskan!” Son of Rock, or Stone Child. One piece of Morley given at birth that I get to keep as long as I live. Given to me, in fact, by a man named Morley Twoyoungmen.

But I didn’t go to the school on the reserve. With many of the Stoney kids, my brother and I took the bus to Exshaw for school. And that was when I began to feel separate from the reserve. Not because I was away from the Stoney kids – I rode the bus with them every day, and half the kids in my class were Stoney. Just because I obviously wasn’t one of them, even if their parents were my parents’ friends. I didn’t speak their language, and I somehow never learned it – I somehow didn’t try, even though my Dad was and still is fluent in it. Every kid gets picked on on the school bus unless he’s the one doing the picking on, and dorky kids who stick out have it worse. It just happens that the kids picking on me were Stoney. I felt less and less like them, less and less part of the place.

And Morley – the usual name for the reserve, after the village at the heart of it with the administration building and the community hall and the health centre and the school and the fitness centre and the church – was where I lived with my family, much of the time out in the country, no other houses in walking distance, the wind whistling outside the window, just me and my brother and my parents and one channel of TV and some records and books, especially a set of encyclopedias. It’s where I was lonely, lonelier than I even knew.

My childhood was peripatetic, yes, in a way. You may remember from my note on Exshaw that we lived in Exshaw when I was little. Let me flesh this out a bit more. Before I went to school, we had lived in or near Rocky Mountain House, briefly in California and Mexico, in Calgary, in Seebe (near Exshaw, named after Charles Brewster), and in the town of Morley; when I was in grade 1 we lived in a small house in Exshaw; the next year, when I was in grade 3 (I accelerated), we lived in a larger house in Exshaw that we had had built; the following year we moved back to the reserve, to a house on the north side of it that at first didn’t even have indoor plumbing (yes, I had to use an outhouse, even in winter); the year after that, my brother and I went to a private school south of Calgary because the Exshaw school psychologist said it was a better place for gifted children, which we had turned out to be, and so we lived in Calgary; the year after that, we went to Springbank School west of Calgary and lived in the centre of Morley (i.e., the actual village); then we went back to Exshaw when I was in grade 7, and when I was in grade 8 we moved from the centre of Morley to what we called the game farm house: a large house formerly owned by Mickey Bailey, a TV wildlife guy who had owned a game farm just at the edge of the reserve. The game farm went bust, Bailey left, the Stoneys got the house, we were allowed to live in it because my dad was doing audiovisual productions for the Stoneys and the house was well set up for it. My mom taught school on the reserve. We continued to live there until I was in university in Calgary, although I actually lived with friends in Banff during the week for grades 11 and 12. The house isn’t there now. Last time I saw it it was unoccupied, vandalized, windows and walls smashed, and I could walk through the picture window and through the empty living room that had held my dad’s two thousand books and my adolescent lonely dreams; the time after that, it was a flat gravel patch – the house had been burnt down.

So, uh, there it is. And woven in that is a life spent more in the country than in the city, a life spent more away from other kids than with them. Out in the country for much of it, with wind howling through the trees outside my window. In a house late at night with blackness outside and no people and a basement that is just a place children put their terrors for keeping. And in all that, the young years when the Stoney kids had been my playmates fell away fast. Play? No. Not by junior high school.

I can’t hold a grudge against the Stoney kids who picked on me. They were just kids too. And I had quite a mouth on me, believe me. I created a fair amount of my own trouble. And many of them didn’t have really good lives. The reserve had its social problems then, and it still has many of them. And some of the kids who picked on me in grades 8 and 9 were dead before I finished my bachelor’s degree. Drunk driving. Suicide. The kid who was my greatest nemesis, the son of some of my parents’ best friends, has now been dead almost twice as long as he ever lived.

So I don’t go there a lot. Not to visit, not to remember. My life is much better now. It wasn’t a horrible life for me, don’t get me wrong. But I just don’t have a lot of desire to return to it. There are still many wonderful people there, a whole community, some of my parents’ best friends. I just don’t much feel part of it. I left it, and lived in another direction. I moved away, or it faded away, or both: all motions and emotions are relative.

But it’s still there.

Morley has, in fact, been there for a long time. The Stoneys, the Nakoda people, have of course been in and around what’s now Alberta for a very, very long time. Morley is a place that came to being with European arrivals, but it has been there as such since 1873. The McDougall family, Methodist missionaries, set up there; read in detail about them at mcdougallstoneymission.com (the link is to a PDF). They arrived not to convert the Stoneys; the Stoneys were already Christians when the McDougalls arrived, worshipping in much the same avid, revivalist way that I experienced growing up (but they also had not altogether lost their pre-Christian religious culture). The McDougalls were not the sterotype of condescending and brutal missionaries; they were avid advocates for the Indians, even if they did have some white blind spots, such as naming things in European fashion. They were liked and respected by the Stoneys.

The McDougalls built a church, which is still there, now the oldest surviving protestant church in southern Alberta and the oldest surviving building in the Bow Valley (which includes Banff and Calgary), though it’s not normally used anymore. And they built up a trading post near the church. The whole settlement was in a classic Alberta location, on the benchland well above the Bow River, with hills around unto which to lift up your eyes, and the mountains to the west. Nearly always grey and brown as far as the eye can see. And the settlement, first called Ghost River after a nearby river that joins the Bow, was renamed Morleyville after Morley Punshon, a friend of John McDougall. I believe this would have been the same William Morley Punshon who was a noted Noncomformist Methodist preacher, born in Doncaster, Yorkshire, and moved to Canada, where he did much to advance the Methodist denomination before returning to England. When the settlement and trading post relocated down into the valley, it retained the Morley part of the name that they had given it.

So Morley was, as a place and a name, brought from England as surely as about half of my genes were (well back in the past). Morley Punshon would likely have been named after Morley, West Yorkshire, near Leeds. That town is an old one; its name is a composite of the words that independently came to be Modern English moor and lea. That’s apposite: the wide open hills of southwestern Alberta are rather like the moors of Yorkshire (open grassy windswept empty spaces), and the more verdant dells near the river are readily enough called leas.

And yet somehow Morley never really noticeably affected the taste of the words moor and lea for me, not that I was aware. But it has come to flavour so strongly one more word: memory.

Banff

There are two more place names that were central to my formative years. One of them is Banff. Banff is the town that for years we would go to for church on Sunday, with lunch and library after, and sometimes for movies on other nights, and for the hot springs, and for hikes in the surrounding park, especially over Lake Louise. Banff Avenue was a familiar mall of delights; the Banff Springs Hotel was our local castle where we sometimes went for brunch buffets. And when I learned to ski, Banff’s ski areas became as famous a topography in my mind as Manhattan is for movies.

Banff formed a geography of my imagination, it and its mountains and glaciers and history; it was and still is my Eden. And then, after finishing junior high in Exshaw, I went to high school in Banff, riding in with my brother for the first year and staying with friends in town for the other two. I spent the heart of my adolescence in this town in the heart of the mountains. Think of all the meaningful moments of your mid-teens. Transpose them to a mountain resort town, one of the most famous mountain resort towns on the planet, and a high school class of just a couple dozen students. The movies you saw, the parties you misbehaved at, the teenage crushes, the friends you cruised around with, all in a town in a crotch of the mountains, every place you go a corner of a postcard. Imagine your graduating class having a weekend hike to a cabin in the mountains (no, not nearly as wholesome an activity as you may imagine). Imagine the morning of your graduation having a champagne breakfast at the top of the Sulphur Mountain Gondola. Imagine your graduation in the ballroom of the Banff Springs Hotel.

Even if Banff has no such associations for you, if you have ever been there it may very well have the same first impression in your mind: the smell of crisp evergreen-fresh mountain air, the sight of stones and logs in the local public architecture.

Or Banff may bring to mind sea air and ruins of a castle and many old Scottish buildings… if you’ve been to the one in Scotland. Of course the Banff in Alberta is named after another Banff, which is formerly the county town of Banffshire (now assimilated into Aberdeenshire), birthplace of at least three men who had some connection to the town’s founding (the two co-founders of the Canadian Pacific Railway and a member of the National Parks Board), although there’s precious little resemblance between the two places – no more than between Calgary, Alberta, and Calgary, Scotland, or between Milford Sound, New Zealand, and Milford Haven, Wales.

Names can reflect errors and false hopes; Tunnel Mountain, the little tremont on the side of which much of Banff townsite is draped, is so named for a railroad tunnel that was originally proposed to go through it – although a look at the valley very quickly reveals that it makes much more sense simply to go around it, which is what the tracks ultimately did. So Tunnel Mountain is named for a feature that it does not have, and Banff is named for a place that it resembles very, very little. But words assimilate effects of their objects. There is nothing intrinsically montane about the word Banff, but it shines to my eyes like the snow and icefalls on Cascade Mountain; its ff are the tall conifers that line its streets and paths and form its buildings’ timbers.

We might also say that sounds assimilate like meanings, suiting themselves to the place of their environs. After all, it is generally accepted as a truism that Banff is pronounced “bamf” (which is also how you would pronounce Bamff, the name of a different place in Scotland). But in fact, it’s not even that; there are only three phones in the standard pronunciation: [bæ̃f] – the vowel is nasalized; the nasalization and voicing may sometimes spread rightward onto the start of the [f], making it a voiced labiodental nasal, [ɱ] (giving four phones: [bæ̃ɱf]), but that’s really just a variable epiphenomenon.

And what does Banff mean? It’s not entirely agreed on. The modern Gaelic for the Scottish town’s name is Banbh (in Gaelic bh is generally pronounced [v]). That’s also the Gaelic word for ‘suckling piglet’, but that’s unlikely to be the source of the town’s name. Perhaps more likely is that it’s a contraction of bean-naobh, ‘holy woman’. (Across the estuary of the river Deveron is the town of Macduff, a name familiar to readers of Shakespeare’s Scottish play.)

The name also has echoes of bumf, as in the acres of bumf about the town to be found in tourist brochures, and bath, which makes me think of the warm waters of the Banff Hot Springs. I also think of Braniff, at one time the name of an airline noted for its design sensibility. Take out the indefinite an from Banff and you get Bff, a best friend forever. Well, friends are not always forever (though I have reconnected with several of my classmates in recent years), but the mountain majesty and mythos of Banff are certainly lasting.