Guten Morgen, as they say in Münster, and welcome to the mongermonger! I hope you brought your money.
Come examine our menagerie of mongers, from organic and grammatical to mongrels in the manger. We’ve had mongers in English for as long as we’ve had English – and before. Old English mangere traces through Old Saxon and Old High German all the way back to classical Latin mango, which meant ‘dealer’ or ‘trader’ – it’s not related to the mango you put in your smoothie (that’s a Dravidian word via Portuguese), but it certainly has borne fruit.
The fruit is sometimes marginal, mind you, more for ragmen than for royals, but so it goes: the life of a trader is sometimes meagrely managed. And the smirch of filthy lucre has clung to it; even half a millennium ago, monger was more associated with dealing in dodgy goods – sometimes fish, but sometimes fishy things.
But if you hunger for a monger, there will surely be something on the shelf to fill your bill. The available kinds of mongers are effectively endless, since you can always make new ones; if you want to call someone a meme-monger, you may. Here are all the kinds of mongers listed in Wiktionary (I’d show you the Oxford English Dictionary list, but I’m not trying to give you a migraine) – choose among them:
- airmonger
- alemonger
- applemonger
- balladmonger
- barbermonger
- beermonger
- bloodmonger
- bookmonger
- boroughmonger
- breadmonger
- buttermonger
- caremonger
- carpetmonger
- ceremony-monger
- cheesemonger
- coalmonger
- cockmonger
- cornmonger
- costermonger
- deathmonger
- defeatmonger
- dictionary-monger
- doom-monger
- doubtmonger
- dramamonger
- eirmonger
- fadmonger
- fancymonger
- fashionmonger
- fearmonger
- feathermonger
- fellmonger
- feltmonger
- fictionmonger
- filthmonger
- fishmonger
- flashmonger
- fleshmonger
- flourmonger
- foodmonger
- foolmonger
- fruitmonger
- garlicmonger
- ghostmonger
- gospelmonger
- gossipmonger
- grievance-monger
- hairmonger
- hatemonger
- haymonger
- horrormonger
- horsemonger
- hypemonger
- ideamonger
- ironmonger
- ironmongery
- jestmonger
- jobmonger
- lawmonger
- lease-monger
- lightmonger
- loanmonger
- lovemonger
- mass-monger
- maxim-monger
- mealmonger
- meritmonger
- miracle-monger
- money-monger
- mongeress
- muck-monger
- murdermonger
- musicmonger
- muttonmonger
- mystery-monger
- newsmonger
- noisemonger
- nostrum-monger
- panicmonger
- pardonmonger
- peacemonger
- pearmonger
- peltmonger
- phrasemonger
- placemonger
- pleasuremonger
- poisonmonger
- powermonger
- prayer-monger
- profitmonger
- prophecy-monger
- pupil-monger
- pussymonger
- questmonger
- race-monger
- relicmonger
- rulemonger
- rumourmonger
- saltmonger
- scandalmonger
- scaremonger
- shitmonger
- sleazemonger
- smutmonger
- species-monger
- spoilsmonger
- starmonger
- statesmonger
- stockfishmonger
- system-monger
- talemonger
- trouble-monger
- twaddlemonger
- versemonger
- warmonger
- watermonger
- whoremonger
- winemonger
- wiremonger
- witchmonger
- wit-monger
- wondermonger
- woodmonger
- woolmonger
- woo-monger
- wordmonger
Quite a megascopic list, isn’t it? I prefer the very last one, though I have been known to engage the trade of some of the others. I can’t say they mong to me, because we lost the simple verb – we had mangian in Old English, but by Modern English that had been sold down the river, and we had to reuse the noun.
So here I am, mongering mongers. (What a monster!) Do you want to take some home with you? Come along, I’ll ring you up.
Sesquiotica 