Category Archives: The Week

Planethood for the possessive

In my latest article for The Week, I take up another cause that’s not likely to go anywhere but is worth setting forth just to get people thinking about it and more aware of what’s going on in their language. What is it? It’s about the lady with all the money. Well, the lady with all the money’s cat. Actually, it’s the ladies with all the money. Or, anyway, the ladies with all the money’s cats. Or, no, in fact, it’s just those ’s possessives, which pretend to be suffixes but might be better treated as independent words:

Why we should stop using an apostrophe s for possessives

 

The geniorum octopodes

We know how some people insist on using borrowed plurals (heck, one of my first articles for The Week, a couple of years ago, was on that). But here’s the thing: they just borrow the nominative plural and think they’re covered. That works fine with languages such as French and Italian, but it’s just a token effort when you come to a fully inflecting language such as Latin. If you want to insist on genii instead of geniuses because it’s truer to the Latin, you really ought to know that genii’s is, by the same token, just plain wrong. It should be geniorum. Find out this and much more in my latest:

Octopus, octopi… octopodem? A guide to humiliating grammar nerds with Latin inflections

(Am I being dead serious with this? …Really, what do you think?)

Nope? Yup. Welp…

My latest article for The Week answers the question, “Why do we have nope and yup… and yep and yeah and nah and yea and nay?” Or, as their title puts it,

Why do we have so many words for yes and no?

 

A word thats time is coming

My latest article for The Week is on a word that many of you will not recognize as legitimate. And yet I predict that it will ultimately be standard English. I am talking about thats as a relative possessive, as in the title above. (Do not be misled by the ambiguous title of the article on theweek.com, which I did not write, or the theme image, which I did not see in advance of publication. This article has nothing to do with the contraction that’s for that is or that has.)

The future of English includes an apostrophe-less ‘thats’

Mind how thou conjugatest

My latest article for The Week is a pocket guide to archaic pronouns and conjugations, which are encountered with greater frequency around Christmas: ye, thee, thou, –est, –eth

‘Tis the season for archaic English

 

A podcast we made, yes

My recent article on the syntax of Yoda-speak has been made into a podcast. If you’d like to hear me do a half-assed impression of Yoda, and/or if you would like to hear movie sound clips to illustrate the points, give it a listen:

Why so strangely Yoda speaks

Infixes? Absofreakinglutely… not.

The tools of linguistics are like a fancy set of lock-picking tools, different ones suited to different locks. Some locks are hard to pick and linguists try a few different tools, proclaiming varying amounts of success in the effort. Sometimes you may want to conclude that a new tool is needed. One case that’s given a lot of fun in the attempt is the case of words such as abso-freaking-lutely. What, exactly, is taking place, morphosyntactically? Or is morphosyntax even the right way to look at it?

Well, here’s what I think, in my latest article for The Week:

Why linguists freak out about ‘absofreakinglutely’

They don’t even really know what to call it

WHY HULK SMASH PUNY GRAMMAR BITS?

My latest article for The Week is on Hulkspeak, an idiom that has proven popular in some quarters, based on the locutionary style of The Incredible Hulk:

A linguist’s guide to HULK SMASH

 

Strong with the fronting Master Yoda is

One of the great classic topics in linguistics is… the syntax of Yoda’s speech. What’s up with the way he talks? What are the characteristics of his syntax? It’s not universally agreed on… or even galactically. But there’s something interesting you might want to know about the language he speaks. I tell you in my latest article for TheWeek.com:

Why so strangely Yoda speaks

For the interested, here are some more linguistic looks at Yoda-speak:

 

7 languages that are like fusion cuisine

We tend to think of languages as easily organized into trees of descent: proto-Germanic split into proto-North Germanic, proto-East Germanic, and proto-West Germanic; proto-West Germanic split into various German and Netherland dialects; one of those dialects became English, another Dutch, et cetera. But sometimes languages take a bit from here and a bit from there. It’s like having nasi goreng made with couscous and kielbasa: fusion cuisine! My latest article for TheWeek.com is about seven fun languages that really mix it up. It’s been given the title

How languages are like food