Monthly Archives: May 2026

lavish

Who doesn’t like lavish things? Lavish parties, lavish gifts, lavish spending, lavish praise, a lavish lifestyle – to run through the most common words that come after lavish? Or a lavish spread, a lavish banquet, lavish accommodations, lavish dinners, lavish vacations, even a lavish home? Such ravishing luxury, such a lively lifestyle, so much more than, say, a slavish attention to the bottom line, or a meal made of a single piece of lavash. One simply can’t have too much lavishness, can one?

Can one? Is there a point when such a flood of luxury leaves one just… washed out?

Well. If you ask Lao Tzu – in the translation of the Tao Te Ching by Wing-Tsit Chan – “There is no calamity greater than lavish desires.” 

Yes, OK, but what if the lavish is not desired but just given – perhaps by nature itself? To quote Vachel Lindsay,

I would be one with the lavish earth, 
Eating the bee-stung apples red: 
Walking where lambs walk on the hills;
By oak-grove paths to the pools be led.

Louis Untermeyer saw lavishness in flowers:

Such golden fires, such yellow—lo, how good
This spendthrift world, and what a lavish God!
This fringe of wood,
Blazing with buttercup and goldenrod.

And Michael Field (the pen name of Katherine Harris Bradley and Edith Emma Cooper) voiced a paean to the

Lavish, large, soothing, refluent summer wind.

So how could lavishness itself be wrong? Who would reject a lavish?

Perhaps the people who would not reject “a lavish.” Because, ah, yes, lavish was a noun before it was an adjective (or, after that, a verb) – and while this noun fell out of usage around the time of Shakespeare, while it was at large it meant, to quote the Oxford English Dictionary, “profusion, excessive abundance, extravagant outpouring or expenditure.” And they say that like it’s a bad thing! A synonym would be prodigality, which, again, we know is supposed to be bad, but it is nice from time to time to be on the receiving end… when some storied host “makes it rain,” as the saying goes, and you are indeed awash in good things.

A wash? A downpour, perhaps? Consider this definition of a word (which I will name shortly) from Littré: “Pluie subite et impétueuse” (Sudden and impetuous rain). That sense of the word is “peu usité” (little used), but there is a second sense: “Vin, bouillon, sauce, tisane où l’on a mis trop d’eau” (Wine, bouillon, sauce, herbal tea where one has put in too much water). The example sentence for that uses the word defined: “Cette soupe ne vaut rien du tout, ce n’est qu’une lavasse” (That soup is worth nothing at all, it’s just a lavasse).

Yes, lavasse – which is the word that lavish traces back to. And lavasse traces, as Littré puts it, to “laver, avec la finale péjorative asse”: the verb laver – meaning ‘wash’ – with the pejorative suffix asse. We don’t quite have an analogous suffix in English – it’s tempting to say “that wash-ass stuff,” though the asse is not related to ass or arse – but we could say “just a washout” or something like that.

Which, ironically perhaps, something is now if it is not lavish enough. Like the infamous Fyre Festival. Which certainly involved lavish desires, and certainly was a great calamity, a total washout – but precisely because it was lavish in desire but not in fulfillment. It was – and its participants were – dishevelled, and dislavished.

snork

Ugh, we were seated in a restaurant last week right next to a table with a family with three kids who were snorking and snotting. One was less than a metre from me. Just what I wanted: to catch a respiratory virus. It also didn’t make for the pleasantest dining experience soundscape.

OK, now, question, though. I like to use “snorking and snotting” to describe a certain thing, and I suppose not everyone uses that turn of phrase, but you know what I mean, right? For snotting one could say “blowing the nose and sniffling,” perhaps – the idea, anyway, is ‘producing a lot of mucus’. But snorking, now: is there another word that conveys that quite as well? If asked to define it, would you come up with a string of words, or would you just demonstrate: “sssnnoorrrrkkkkkk!”

Because it’s not simply sniffing or sniffling, is it. It’s inhaling loudly through the nasal passages for the purpose of swallowing loose mucus. It’s a common enough thing for people with head colds to do – especially the youth and any other uncouth. And yet our vocabulary for exactly that act is broadly wanting. Perhaps because it’s disgusting.

But people do snork, and we need to name it from time to time. So it’s odd to me that I rarely see the word snork. It’s not a new word. Aside from being imitative, and having the /sn/ phonaestheme that is so commonly associated with things nasal, it’s been in the language for centuries, though not strictly referring just to that gross ingression of catarrh. It’s attested in the OED from the 1500s meaning ‘snore’ and from the 1800s meaning ‘snort, grunt, breathe noisily’.

That is certainly broader than what I have in mind here. ‘Snort, grunt, breathe noisily’ puts me in mind of the eponymous vagrant in the song “Aqualung” by Jethro Tull, so named because of his noisy breathing (including, as specified in the lyrics, snot). But this is not quite aqualung territory. It’s more like… a snorkel, I guess.*

But, really, what other word could you use that would be equal? I’d be tempted to use sknx but it’s canonically a snore (and, almost unique among English words, strictly requires an ingressive airstream). Snorking (in the sense I mean) and snoring are produced by almost exactly the same means, though. Only, ironically, while a snore is somnolent, it is the snork that is more phlegmatic. Which is, for all the subtle gradations, a gross distinction.

*By the way, snorkel comes from German Schnorchel, which first named an exhaust pipe for diesel-powered submarines; it is formed from the same root – with the same meaning – as snore, which is also the most likely etymon of snork.

compunction, qualm

The point of compunctions, more often than not, is that one pointedly does not have them. Now and then is there a momentary compunction, a slight compunction, perhaps a single compunction, but the majority of times compunctions are spoken of, it is their absence that is remarked: a person has no compunctions about something – not even the least compunction.

Which means what, by the way? What are compunctions? Emotional complications? Moral conditions? Points of punctiliousness? Punctures in your composition? Or, simply put, qualms?

Wait… what is the difference between compunctions and qualms? When you inquire into qualms, you find that they, too, are most often remarked by their absence: nary a qualm, without a qualm, no qualms about doing it, no qualm with what someone has said or done, not even the least qualm… Occasionally someone may have a sudden qualm, or a slight qualm, or perhaps even a few qualms, but qualms, like compunctions, seem in short supply, at least when spoken of.

And a qualm is what? A quaver? A break in the calm? A mild queasiness or quaking? I could look to Wiktionary and see that it can be “a prick of the conscience; a moral scruple, a pang of guilt.” That brings to mind “a pricking of conscience or a feeling of regret, especially one which is slight or fleeting”… which is the definition of compunction. But a qualm can also be “a feeling of apprehension, doubt, fear etc.” or “a sudden sickly feeling; queasiness,” which goes beyond what one might think of for a compunction, which seems more a mere point of order or politeness.

Which allows me to get to the point – or points. The punct in compunction, you see, is indeed the same as in puncture, punctual, punctiliousness, and so on: a point, a needle, a prick – in this case, as said, a pricking of conscience. But compunction was not at first a slight needling; the com- made it more commanding and complicated. It was a bed of nails for the moral sensibility. It was the sting of remorse. It is only over the centuries (in particular between the 1300s and the 1700s) that the sense became less intense, as the usage slipped into the negative. Now a compunction – if you have one at all – might make you come to a stop, but it won’t kill you.

Unlike, perhaps, a qualm. We’re not quite sure, mind you, where qualm came from; there are a couple of theories, and not enough evidence to solidify either. But one theory connects it to quell, which, originally, meant ‘kill’. Indeed, in Old English – and up to the mid-1500s – qualm (or an earlier spelling such as cwealm) meant, to quote the Oxford English Dictionary, “Death, esp. of a violent nature; (also) an instance of this.” 

So the moral quake of a qualm could be a little murder of the soul, no? Well, aside from the last known instance of that qualm being from 1532, and the first known instance of our modern qualm being from 1531, there isn’t much other than the coincidence of form to connect the two. Our first known use of the latter sense is from William Tyndale: “When Jonas had bene in te fishes bely a space … the qualmes & panges of desperacion which went ouer hys hert halfe ouercome.” I just don’t think “qualms and pangs of desperation” works with the ‘death’ sense, ya know? It is true that the older qualm could also mean ‘torment’ or ‘pain’ or ‘injury’, but, as the OED says, “evidence for a direct connection of the two words is lacking, and on chronological grounds it is unlikely that there is continuity between the two words.”

Which is why there is the thought that our compunctious qualm might be connected to modern German Qualm and Dutch kwalm ‘smoke, mist (especially noxious)’, perhaps from a root meaning ‘gush forth, well up’ or connecting through a sense of ‘dizziness, stupefaction’ – you know, that little queasy feeling.

Either way, you probably don’t have any, nor compunctions either. But how do you decide which of them in particular you don’t have? The sound and associations certainly help: compunction is longer and more technical, qualm short and visceral. Perhaps you could combine the two, to connote a sickening pricking of the conscience – a sort of food poisoning of the soul: qualmpunctions. It looks and sounds pretty bad. But, of course, you have none.