Category Archives: word tasting notes

besom

I think the first time I saw this word it was in the context of being a term of contempt – something like the old besom or the little besom or whatnot. I didn’t really know what it meant or where it came from; I thought, “Well, it must be something negative.” I guessed the pronunciation correctly – it’s like “beezum” – and imagined it might be like a sort of busybody who drops abuse in over the transom.

Well, the first thing to know is that if you call someone a besom, that someone has a bosom. Yes, the term, when applied to a person, is a disparaging term for a woman. But literally it’s a word for an implement. It just happens to be an implement associated with women, historically.

No, I don’t mean a distaff. But, though calling a woman a besom is not calling her a witch, you will often see a besom in a picture of a witch. Though women got to spin rockets (originally a word for a spinster’s implement), they didn’t get to ride them; they rode brooms instead – and the brooms you’re most likely to see pictured are besoms: bundles of straw or twigs wrapped around a staff.

Of course, now Harry Potter rides one too, when playing quidditch. But they call them brooms. Never mind; besom just isn’t all that common a word anymore – perhaps partly because we have better kinds of broom. In some Scots dialects, though, besom remains the generic word for a broom. In mainstream English, it has long been little used – see the Google Ngram comparison.

One may imagine that with a broom you sweep a room while with a besom you can just be busy like a bee. The sounds are different, anyway; though they both have the /b/ to start with, broom has the rumbling /br/ that you also get in brush, and then it gets into the even more thundery /um/, while besom has the high front /i/ sound and then a buzz and a bump before at last landing back at the same /m/ as in broom – the nasal version of the stop that began the word. I do think /brum/ is more reminiscent of a sweeping motion than /bizəm/ is, but I don’t know whether that had any influence on their respective popularity.

So where are you most likely to encounter this word, other than nowhere? You will find figurative uses of it in the King James version of the Bible (“I will sweepe it with the besome of destruction”) and in Shakespeare’s Henry VI Part 2 (“Be it known unto thee by these presence, even the presence of Lord Mortimer, that I am the besom that must sweep the court clean of such filth as thou art”). You will also find literal uses of it in assorted literature, but not much that was written after the mid-1800s.

You may also find it in the company of other words: a besom-head is a blockhead; a besom-rider is a witch; besom-heath is heath used to make besoms (fancy that), and besom-weed is the same thing – or that other similar plant with which besoms may be made. What was that plant called? Oh, yes: broom.

phlox, phylloxera

First of all: does or doesn’t phlox seem like it might be a shortening of phylloxera? If we can shorten chrysanthemum to mum, if we can shorten San Francisco to Frisco, surely we can shorten phylloxera to phlox, no?

Well, I suppose we could if the word weren’t already taken. So, yes, phlox and phylloxera are two different things. One is a bug and one is a flower. Now: which is which? If you happen to know at least one of them, then of course there’s no guessing, but tell me anyway: which one sounds like a bug and which a flower?

I have the general sense (I’m not going to dig up stats to support it right now; that would take time) that there are quite a few flower names that are polysyllabic and often ending in a: hydrangea, azalea, calendula, camellia, gardenia, portulaca… On the other hand, a word like phlox seems to me better suited to a bug, like gnat, aphid, midge, cockroach, flea, tsetse fly, wasp…

Even if you don’t know either of these words, you can probably see this coming: phlox is a pretty, bright-coloured flower, and phylloxera is a plant louse that plagues grape vines – it destroyed most of the grape vines in Europe in the later 19th century after having been brought over from the Americas. (The vineyards recovered by means of hybridization.) The pair together (not that they are ever seen together) are not for days of wine and roses; however, at least phlox make a substitute for roses, whereas phylloxera deprive you of the wine altogether.

If you are despairing of any sort of sound-sense link in these words, there is still a straw you may cling to: their Greek origins. Phylloxera is not, after all, Classical Greek for “nasty grape-eating bug”. Look closely at its bits (the word, I mean): does phyllo look like pastry? It actually means “leaf” (well, phyllon is the word for “leaf”), just as phyllo pastry is leafy. And xera? Not a warrior princess; just a copy. A photocopy. It’s the source for Xerox, a printer that uses dry ink (toner). Xéros means “dry”. So this is the dry-leaf bug. Meanwhile, Classical Greek phlox means “flame”. (Phlox your Bic?)

Does the ph on phlox make it seem high-level? Or, paradoxically, argot-y, perhaps nerd argot, like phishing, or something a bit hipper, like phat? Does the x make it seem like a character from Dr. Seuss (like the Lorax) or from Star Trek (that would be – uh, Phlox, actually, from Star Trek: Enterprise)? Does it seem perhaps as though the mouth is fuller with ph than with, say, f? Well, what do you think about the word flocks? Does it feel different? Quite the influence that spelling and context have, isn’t it? Phlox and flocks are pronounced exactly the same, after all.

And what about phylloxera: it’s a very similar vocal gesture to that of phlox, just more drawn out and with a /r/ consonant added (and while you, like me, may automatically put the accent on the third-last syllable, there is also the option of putting it on the second-last). It certainly starts soft; it has the hard /ks/ in the middle, but then it ends soft, too. It has a certain liquidity to it as well – like the soft drink you have to have because the bugs got the wine, perhaps. Well, at least there are the flowers…

shirr

Maury had invited a few of us – me, Elisa, and Jess – over for brunch, and was setting before us small dishes with eggs and butter floating in them.

“Mmm! What’s this?” exclaimed Elisa Lively.

“It’s a shirred egg,” said Maury.

“Assured of what?” Elisa asked.

“Proper cooking and no absence of cholesterol,” Maury said.

“But can you tell me what you did to it?”

“Shirr.”

Pause.

“So what did you do to it?”

“Shirr.” Maury was trying to suppress a smile. He has a wicked streak.

“Sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“What are you sure about?”

“The eggs. I assure you, that egg is a shirred egg.”

I gestured at the yellow goodness my egg was swimming in. “Butter you shirr?”

“Always.”

“OK,” said Jess, “stop milking this or I’ll cream you.”

Maury held up a finger, turned on his heel and went to his cookbook shelf. He returned with a copy of the 1977 English printing of the 1960 edition of the Larousse Gastronomique, open to page 338. He handed it to Elisa with a gesture. She read aloud: “‘Eggs sur le plat, or shirred eggs.’ …Oh! …You’re funny. ‘…For two eggs coat the dish with one half tablespoon butter. Heat on the stove. Break the eggs into the dish and pour melted butter on the yolks. Cook in the oven for as long as is liked and when ready, sprinkle with fine salt.'” She handed the book back. “So I gather that to make shirred eggs, you shirr them.”

“You gather correctly,” Maury said. “In fact, if I may say ‘sew,’ when you shirr you always gather.”

“OK, you’ve lost me again,” Elisa said.

“The meaning of shirr is elastic,” I explained.

“You guys!” Jess said. She turned to Elisa. “Shirr also means ‘gather or draw up fabric using parallel threads’, and a shirred garment has elastic threads woven into it. The noun shirr can mean elastic webbing.”

“Oh,” said Elisa. “What’s the connection?”

“The elastic, of course,” Maury said. Elisa swatted him. “Actually,” Maury said, “I don’t know, and the usual reference sources are not forthcoming on the subject. It may have to do with the appearance of the eggs when they are shirred.”

“Well,” said Elisa, determined to get a wordplay into the match, “I guess you’re the shirriff today.”

“No, this is the Shirriff,” said Maury, gesturing to a jar of Shirriff marmalade that was on the sideboard. “And your toast.” He pointed to a plate of toast on the table.

“I’m toast?” Elisa said.

“Don’t egg him on,” Jess said. “Look, I’m eating.” She took a bite. “Why don’t we all?”

“I hope it’s good,” Maury said.

Jess smiled a little. “Shirr.” (Or perhaps she said “it is” in Mandarin. It sounds about the same…)

snuck

Well, maybe it’s time I snuck in another pocket screed. Today’s will be “why ‘that’s not a word’ is a senseless assertion.” And maybe if I snuck in a bit of linguistic terminology as well… it’s ablaut time.

Let’s start with that ablaut thingy. What is ablaut? It’s a term (pronounced like “ab lout”) linguistics has taken from German to refer to what’s happening in word sets such as shrink, shrank, shrunken, or sing, sang, sung, or drive and drove, or any other set of words where an inflectional change causes the main vowel to move back in the mouth – in particular “strong” verbs.

Now, the thing about “strong” verbs is that, supposedly, they’re not making new ones. New verbs have to get the -ed past tense and past participle endings, supposedly. It would be sloppy and irregular and so on if some verb that didn’t have the “strong” blue blood in its veins were to take on the airs of ablaut.

The problem being that people, goshdarnit, don’t seem to approach language in a purely schematic, consistent way. Things are often done by analogy. And some things begin as “mistakes” but take root. There are quite a lot of fully accepted words and expressions now in use that have come about through “mistakes,” reanalysis, et cetera. And of course there are some that are still resisted vigorously in spite of being in common use for more than a century. One such is snuck.

It’s quite a sensible ablaut alternation, isn’t it? Sneak–snuck, as self-evident as, say, dive–dove. Alas, it was not always thus; the original (and still used, especially outside of North America) past tense of sneak was sneaked. Somehow snuck just snuck in there (like dove – the same people who oppose snuck oppose dove as the past of dive, for the same reason: it’s not an original strong verb).

It’s not as though the ablaut words we have have all kept their original vowels from the beginning, either. Drove would then be drave, for instance. But snuck is a pure interloper! It’s like having one of those people trying to get into your country club. They’re just not our sort. They don’t belong, you see. Why, snuck is not a word!

Well, yes it is. First of all, a word is any unitary lexical item that is used with proper effect to communicate a particular sense. In other words, if I say it as a word, and you understand it as a word, it’s a word for us. And if it’s in general circulation in a given language and used by many people, and those speakers of that language who hear it generally understand it, it’s a word in that language. Doesn’t matter if it’s not in your dictionary; dictionaries are like field guides, not legislation. Birdwatchers don’t say “That can’t be a bird; it’s not in my book,” they say “My book is missing that one.” That’s how it is with dictionaries too. And if you’re arguing against something being a word, it’s surely because you’ve heard it used as a word (otherwise why bother arguing?), so you’re already wrong from the start.

And anyway, snuck is in the dictionary. So there. It’s been in use in American English since at least the late 1800s, and it’s made its way into all sorts of dictionaries, including the Oxford English Dictionary.

Sure, it’s comparatively informal. But the verb sneak isn’t exactly high-flown. And there’s use for informal words. Especially ones that have a suitable mouthfeel and sound, like snuck does. Let’s face it: sneaking is a generally negatively toned act, or at least a rascally one. It’s something done in such a way as to evade detection. There is a certain underhandedness and lack of dignity to it. Under what circumstance could you even think of saying “The Pope snuck into the room”? (Or “The Pope sneaked into the room”?)

So we have a word that has the nose-reminiscent /sn/, which also shows up in words like snip, snicker, snake, and sneer, and then we get that “uck”, which can be a very down-to-earth, informal kind of sound in our language: it might be good luck or a big truck or it might be getting stuck trying to buy a duck (yuck), or it might be any of a variety of other more or less louche words ending with the same rhyme.

This is not to say that sneaked lacks any such tones – it has the same onset, and rhymes with leaked and peeked and tweaked and such like – but it’s a higher, thinner sound (I have the sense that snuck is more appropriate to going under a table and sneaked to going in through a narrow gap), and it has a more complex ending, /kt/ rather than /k/.

So why not have a choice? It’s hardly the first time we’ve had two words for something, and just aesthetic and similar connotative matters to distinguish between them. After all, snuck is a word too.

patty

I lately learned of an interesting little episode in bureaucracy thanks to torontoist.com. At Historicist: The Toronto Patty Wars, I found out that in 1985, federal food inspectors from the Department of Consumer and Corporate Affairs informed sellers of Jamaican beef patties in Toronto that they absolutely could not sell their products under that name.

The inspectors, you see, armed with the federal definition of a beef patty as consisting of only meat, salt, seasonings, and flavour enhancers, and definitely nothing made from grain products, were shocked, appalled, dismayed, etc., to discover that these so-called “beef patties” actually had quite a lot of flour and similar things in them!

Well, of course they did. A Jamaican beef patty is somewhat like an empanada or a Cornish pasty: it has a pastry shell inside which is ground, seasoned meat. And they had been sold in Toronto under the name beef patties since the 1960s (and in Jamaica long before that). So what’s the beef?

In the end, the vendors were allowed to continue calling their products patties, but they could not call them beef patties. Which of course means that if you sell Jamaican patties some of which have beef and some of which have other fillings, you have to use a more convoluted syntax to designate them.

This is clearly a case of putting the cart before the horse, and it’s also a great example of the grand old language game of presenting inferior understanding as superior understanding. The government knew of only one kind of patty, and made its narrow definition on the basis of that, and when it was confronted with other patties, it insisted they could not be patties because they did not fit its definition. This is perhaps the most classic example of a Procrustean bed I have ever seen in real life. It just goes to show how sometimes (often, in fact) pat answers are flat wrong.

The greatest irony of all in this is that the Caribbean sense of patty, “small pie or pastry”, predates the “flattened cake of ground or minced food” sense… by nearly 250 years.

The word patty, and its sibling pasty (pronounced like past with an /i/ on the end), come from an older sense of French pâté, which in turn comes from pâte, which is cognate with pasta and pastry and comes ultimately from Greek παστη pasté, “paste” or “barley porridge”. The English sense, in use by 1660, was first a meat pie. The meaning transferred to the filling – specifically formed and shaped as a disc – by the early 20th century.

And now what do we think when we hear patty? Well, if it’s beef patty and we’re not used to Caribbean food, we’ll think of a hamburger. But if we hear the word patty by itself (and we don’t think we’re hearing paddy as in rice paddy), we’re probably going to think of the female name. We might think of particular people, real or fictional, who have had that name. I’m put in mind of a rather winsome, introverted girl I knew I high school, for instance. (Thanks to Facebook, I know that she is now a university professor.) But I’m also put in mind of Peppermint Patty from Peanuts (a.k.a. Charlie Brown comics), singer Patti Smith, and the song “Cow Patti” by Jim Stafford – and of course cow patties, something I saw many of up close and personal when I was growing up in Alberta. And there are many males also called Patty (or Paddy), short for Patrick (or Pádraig).

You might also think of patty cake (also known as pat-a-cake) and the act of patting something and perhaps even that charming little Christmas song with the line “tu-re-lu-re-lu, pat-a-pat-a-pan.” And perhaps you’ll be put in mind of putty or petty or pretty or potty or pity or maybe even (in the spirit of the Christmas song) piety. It just has such a pleasing little percussivity to it, kind of like the little pats with which one may form a hamburger patty. (That word pat, by the way, most likely is imitative in origin – your hand goes “pat, pat, pat”, so that’s that.)

snood

I’ve always found this a funny sort of little word. Its /sn/ onset sets it squarely in the midst of a number of words having to do with noses and nasal-toned things (snoot, snout, snore, snort, snot, snook, sniff, snuff, snivel, snoop, sneer, snarl) along with some unrelated to noses but that may seem to have some affinity of tone nonetheless (snag, snail, snap, snare, snatch, snazzy, sneak, snipe, snitch, snob, snub, snug) and some that may (or may not, depending on the hearer) seem unrelated (snake, snow). It has a bluntness in its /d/ ending, and it stares up at you wide-eyed from the page with its oo.

But what does it mean? And how is it pronounced? Well, the second question is not too hard – how it is, or anyway according to dictionaries should be, pronounced is not to rhyme with hood but rather to rhyme with mooed – making it sound like snowed said with a certain kind of Scottish accent.

The first question, on the other hand, is more of a trick than you might think, because it’s a moving target. We can say for certain that it’s always a doodad or odd and sod that is worn on or near the head. But greater specifics require context.

I knew it first as a hairnet – that bag-like sort of net that women may wear at the back of the head to contain long hair. They had some popularity during World War II; now they are mainly seen on strictly Torah-observant married Jewish women, Hutterites, and women from some other religiously conservative groups.

This is what I thought James Joyce was referring to in his poem “Bid Adieu to Maidenhood,” published in 1907:

Bid adieu, adieu, adieu,
Bid adieu to girlish days,
Happy Love is come to woo
Thee and woo thy girlish ways —
The zone that doth become thee fair,
The snood upon thy yellow hair.

When thou hast heard his name upon
The bugles of the cherubim
Begin thou softly to unzone
Thy girlish bosom unto him
And softly to undo the snood
That is the sign of maidenhood.

I thought it rather odd that he was obsessing on a hairnet and I wasn’t sure why he thought it to be so particularly a sign of maidenhood. (I also found his rhyme of snood and maidenhood every bit as off as his rhyme of adieu with woo and of upon with unzone – clearly dialectal differences.) But in fact he had a different sort of thing in mind, it turns out; we learn what from Walter Scott, in a note in his 1810 Lady of the Lake:

The snood, or riband, with which a Scottish lass braided her hair, had an emblematical signification, and applied to her maiden character. It was exchanged for the curch, toy, or coif, when she passed, by marriage, into the matron state. But if the damsel was so unfortunate as to lose pretensions to the name of maiden, without gaining a right to that of matron, she was neither permitted to use the snood, nor advanced to the graver dignity of the curch. In old Scottish songs there occur many sly allusions to such misfortune; as in the old words to the popular tune of “Ower the muir amang the heather”:

Down amang the broom, the broom,
Down amang the broom, my dearie,
The lassie lost her silken snood,
That gard her greet till she was wearie.

It was, in other words, a ribbon, which might have been braided into the hair.

But along with Scottish maidens and ultra-orthodox wives, there is a third set of people lately seen wearing snoods: soccer players.

No, they’re not wearing hairnets or hair ribbons. Somehow snood has come to refer to yet another thing: a neck warmer. They’re an in thing with some players, and FIFA is considering banning them – for safety reasons, they say, but I wonder if it’s just because they’re still frustrated about not being able to ban the vuvuzela during the World Cup and they want to ban something (no snoods is good snoods?). You can see this kind of snood pictured with articles such as the following, which American Dialect Society member Victor Steinbok drew my (and other ADS-L listers’) attention to: FIFA considering snood ban; Suspended pair fail with appeal bid and FIFA thinks snoods could be a danger to players’ necks.

We also see (and thanks to ADS-L member Damien Hall for this link) that it may have used to refer to a sort of cowl to go with an ’80s-style jacket: 80s New Romantic Gold Larme Jacket and Snood (note the reconstrual of lamé as larme).

So, I guess, if your hair’s nude or your neck’s nude, you can wear a snood; whether you should, and whether you will seem a snob or a prude, is another matter.

ejective

Eject is a word that may fairly easily raise a slight smile due to the roughness, hazardousness, or indignity of its most frequent referents – a fighter pilot may eject from the cockpit, a boisterous drunk may be ejected from a bar, a skier whose tips jam into something suddenly may do a double eject from his bindings… The most genteel sense I can think of is the eject button on various media players, from cassette recorders to DVD players. The overtones of ejaculate and the derisive flavour of reject add to its rather improper flavour. And fair enough: it’s from Latin for “throw out” – e “out” plus jacere “throw”.

So ejective would be “able to eject” or “pertaining to ejection”, yes? Yes, but in particular it has a linguistic sense: it’s a kind of consonant. Now, it’s possible that you’ve never spoken an ejective consonant in your life, because English doesn’t have them and neither do any other European languages I can think of, but I rather think, given the way children – and to a perhaps lesser extent adults – play with sounds, that at some time in your life you’ve made the sound. I do think it’s quite likely you’ve heard ejective consonants. I say this because I think it’s quite likely that you’ve seen the movie Avatar.

James Cameron, director of Avatar, wanted the indigenes of the planet Pandora to have a developed language, one that would sound alien to audiences but at the same time be pleasing to listen to and not prohibitive for his actors to speak. He hired Paul Frommer, a trained linguist and business-school professor, who presented some options, and what was chosen was a phonemic set with noticeable use of ejectives.

So what are these ejectives? One stand-out word from the movie is sk’awng or, as it’s spelled in the standardized Na’vi orthography in the Latin alphabet, skxawng. It means “idiot” and is used several times. The ejective k’ gives the word a feel of some cartoon character being hit in the head with a hammer and his head ringing like a gong. You may remember it.

In the real world, ejectives are found in many languages, including a goodly number of African and American languages – Hausa and Lakhota, for instance. They are also present in Georgian (what they speak in the republic of Georgia in the Caucasus), and when I sang in Darbazi, a choir that sang music from the ancient polyphonic tradition of Georgia, what our conductor, Alan Gasser, told us to do was basically to say the consonant very emphatically. And then he demonstrated.

A demonstration goes a long way, but I can’t actually give you one here. But it’s important to know, first of all, that an ejective consonant is not just any forcefully produced consonant. It has to be a stop or affricate – the airstream has to be stopped for a moment – and the glottis has to close. Ejectives are not sternutatory – they’re not like sneezing. There is no force from your lungs. The force comes entirely from a buildup of air pressure in the space between your closed glottis and where your tongue has stopped up your mouth (I’m put in mind of a piston in a diesel engine). So an ejective is a stop coarticulated with a glottal stop, with a buildup of pressure and the glottal stop releasing after the stop.

That’s probably confusing to most of those reading this. So let’s do this: start with the word uh-uh, as in “no” (rather than uh-huh, as in “yes”). Say it. Now say it again, but build up some pressure in the stop between the uh and the uh as if you’re lifting something; make sure to be actually holding your breath and adding a bit of tension in there: uh-…-uh. Now say the word okay in the same way: ok…kay. Now try it with the the /k/ released with a sort of pop outward a half second before you actually release your breath: ok…k’…ay. You should be able to produce the same piston-pop effect with “p”, “t”, “ts”, and “ch”.

So an ejective ejects the air that has built up pressure between your glottis and your tongue. But of course in ordinary speech it’s not quite so emphatic. I’ve found a video that teaches some words in Adyghe (Circassian), a language of the Caucasus, and in some of them you can see how ejectives come out in normal speech and how they’re different from ordinary stops. Just look for the p’, t’, or k’ – the other places you see will have it just as a glottal stop, as in uh-uh.

And why, if we don’t have them in English and you’re unlikely to learn a language that has them, should you care? Well, you like the taste and feel of words and their sounds, don’t you? There is much to be learned from the various things your mouth can do that you don’t use it for. (I mean sounds it can make. Of course.) And we do occasionally make these kinds of sounds when speaking English, just for effect. So why throw them out?

sternutatory

The Russians have a soup called shchi. It’s a cabbage and vegetable soup, and a staple of Russian cuisine. It’s a good soup for winter, not only because it’s warming but because you may often ask for it involuntarily.

Well, OK, in modern Russian the fricative-affricate pairing in this word has smoothened into a simple fricative, but even so it still sounds a bit like a sneeze. And in the German spelling Schtschi, it looks like one of those particularly nasty, messy sneezes, while in the Polish spelling szczi it looks like one of those sneezes that feel like an electric shock. I’m inclined to think if we didn’t have the word sneeze we could always use a word like shchi to signify it.

Well, how about an adjective – “of or relating to sneezing”? Ah, well, in fact, we have a word for that too. (We can use sneeze attributively, as in sneeze reflex, but we do have an adjective per se as well.) The word doesn’t sound so much like an act of sneezing, though; rather, it sounds like a description of the reprimand you get for sneezing without covering it: sternutatory.

Really, can you find a sneeze in sternutatory? Perhaps in the taste of sternum, which is in front of the trachea through which the sneeze passes on its way to the mouth (or is it only air at that point, becoming a sneeze when it hits the constriction of the tongue?). Otherwise, it tastes of stern, Sterno, newt, nut, neuter, and Tory. It has that arch, high-flown ending atory, so scientific or formal or mock-pompous. How ever did such a word come to refer to such a thing?

Well, it and its noun sibling sternutation (sounds like a salutation made with a sneeze, doesn’t it?) come from the Latin verb sternuere “sneeze”, which sounds a teeny bit closer; it’s cognate with the Greek πταρνυσθαι ptarnusthai, which does begin to sound like something one could sneeze out.

For me, though, sternutatory is most fun as a name for an amusing potential class of consonants. Several years ago I began writing, as an exercise in what my wife would undoubtedly call “geek humour,” an introduction to an invented language, Sclgnqi, set in almost pathologically chauvinistic and otherwise somewhat unbalanced terms. I didn’t get much past the phonemic set and the beginnings of the inflections, though that did contain some things that I still remember with amusement:

There are eight cases: the nominative, the accusative, the defensive, the dative, the negative, the genitive, the ablative, and the destructive. Nouns come in four classes based on two moieties: intelligent versus unintelligent and likable versus unlikable. All nouns are regular; the irregular ones did not survive. . . . For instance, if you had one noun in the destructive case and another in the defensive, all you would need to know is “when and for how long?” – all the rest is details.

The pronunciation guide, which I will post in full separately for the heck of it, includes special counsel on sternutatory consonants:

Note! In addition to the usual kinds of consonants possessed by any dull language – plosives, fricatives, voiced and unvoiced – Sclgnqi has an especially beautiful class of consonants sound that sets it apart from all others: the sternutative. Mandarin produces the faintest of echoes with its “ci” and “zi” sounds, but these do not produce the beautiful spray that Sclgnqi sternutatives make. A speaker of a dull, flat language such as English can only hope to simulate the sound of the Sclgnqi cs, cz and kt with the aid of pepper and good chest muscles. To produce a proper cs or the best imitation of which you are capable, position your tongue as if you were to say the zz in pizza, and then force all the air in your lungs out within a quarter of a second. An involuntary vocalization usually accompanies. For cz, clench your teeth as if biting down hard on a delicious cznqgt (a pastry never matched in any other country) and trying to say ch as in choke at the same time, then expel all the air in your lungs in a quarter of a second. An involuntary vocalization usually accompanies. To pronounce kt, position your tongue fully against the roof of your mouth as though about to shout with all dignified hatred, Kill Vlksnk Glnat! and then expel forcefully all the air in your lungs and all the saliva on your tongue in the time it takes to drive a knife into a cow that is being held by two of your strongest friends. An involuntary vocalization usually accompanies.

Clicks schmicks. Give me sneeze, please!

enormity

Ah, now, here’s a word that illustrates of the enormity of the prescriptivist’s task. After all, if one is going to appeal to the gilded usage of our superior forebears, exactly which forebears were superior? If a word shifted usage over time, how do we decide which time period’s usage to cleave to? With many prescriptivists, it would seem that the real answer is “whichever one will allow me to declare the most current users wrong.”

Does that seem iniquitous? Well, that’s why I used the term enormity. You see, while sorting out shifts of meaning over time may seem an enormous task, I really meant to say that the prescriptivist’s task is atrocious, heinous, wicked. So all you prescriptivists out there who are getting out your tut-tutting fingers, ready to say “Eee! Norm! I spy an itty bitty little brain here!”: gotcha.

Yes, there are many people out there who will insist that enormity can only refer to an act of especial wickedness, some heinous atrocity; the quality of massiveness, they explain, has another word: enormousness.

Well, yes, there is enormousness, but there is also on the other side atrocity and several others that do not smack so strongly of a different word as to be generally misleading. And it also happens that those others do not have several good reasons to mean “enormousness”.

Where, in fact, does enormity come from? The same Latin source as enormous, unsurprisingly: Latin enormis, “out of the normal” or “immense”, from e(x) “out of” plus norma, which means just what it looks like it means – “norm, pattern” – and also “mason’s square”.

Enormous entered English in the 1500s meaning “deviant, extravagant” and also “monstrous, abnormally wicked” (a more specific sense of the basic meaning) and “of exceptionally large size”. Only the last meaning survived.

Enormity, for its part, arrived in English around the same time (or even a bit earlier, as enormous was preceded by enorm meaning the same things) and meant, yes, “irregularity, abnormality, extravagance” and “great wickedness, monstrous offence”. By the 1700s it was being used to mean “excessive magnitude”. So aha! you may say. The size sense came later!

Well, yea and nay. Remember that the size thing is part of the original Latin meaning. But there’s one more word to look at: enormousness. It appeared in English in the 1600s meaning “immorality, gross wickedness”; later, in the 1800s, it came to have the sense “excessive magnitude”. So enormousness is even newer to the sense than enormity – and has a greater claim to meaning “great wickedness” exclusively, if we want to go by historical priority.

But, now, the protest may be made, “Perhaps the source may suggest magnitude, but ‘gross wickedness’ is what the word has come to mean, so the ‘excess magnitude’ sense is wrong.” Well, the protest may be made if you want to go hunting and shoot your dog, that is. You can’t really say “People who use it that way are wrong because people don’t use it that way.” The fact is that they do, as demonstrated by the insistent corrections, which would be unnecessary if they didn’t. Current dictionaries reflect this usage as well.

But, ah, linguistic proscriptions are like thought viruses. Once someone says “You can’t use that word that way!” it seems to stick in the mind. Perhaps it’s because language functions by dividing up reality into more and more little bits to mix and match, and another restriction equals another division. Or perhaps it’s just that people are more attuned to “thou shalt not” rules than to “thou mayest” rules. And, indeed, a certain amount of precision in language is a good thing – I, too, inveigh on occasion against unnecessarily sloppy usage of words. But there’s a difference between trying to keep the sense of a word from being bleached beyond usefulness and militating against an established sense of a word mainly with the effect of trumping others. I’m all for maximizing the expressive potential of the language – and not using it as some status-focused gotcha game. (Yes, I said “gotcha” above. It was to put the shoe on the other foot.)

And what would I do with enormity? Well, as a word taster, I would taste it and, having tasted it, spit it into the spittoon handily provided, just as wine tasters may do with wine. Its form clearly conduces to one sense while it has another meaning still in use that some hold is the only correct meaning. It is simply too hot to the tongue, I would say; leave it out of your recipes. If you find that it tastes a bit like ignore me, so much the better. A pity; it skips off the tongue more nicely than enormousness, I think – a better rhythm, a lighter touch, if perhaps less massive-feeling. But do you truly wish to be faced with the enormity of the prescriptivist position?

Thanks to Alan Yoshioka for suggesting (some time ago) enormity.

thither

Into the Silent Land!
Ah! who shall lead us thither?
Clouds in the evening sky more darkly gather,
And shattered wrecks lie thicker on the strand.
Who leads us with a gentle hand
Thither, oh, thither,
Into the Silent Land?

Ah, so, Longfellow – so long, fellow, you too have gone into the Silent Land. Whither? Thither, not hither.

Thither – now there’s a word seldom used in conversation. Or, actually, there is a word often used where thither would formerly have been used. It happens that we formerly had separate decitics for stasis and movement: where, here, there all referred to being in a place, and whither, hither, thither all referred to going to a place, while whence, hence, thence referred to coming from a place. Now we can say go there rather than go thither and come here rather than come hither, but we can’t say come there rather than come thence or go here rather than go hence; we need to use a preposition. This seems natural and logical only because we’re used to it.

But we still have these movement-oriented deictics; they are not obsolete, just archaic (except hence, which is used figuratively to mean “therefore”), and they show up in a couple of idioms: a come-hither look and hither and thither.

Now, let me ask you: how do you pronounce hither and thither? Do you say thither like a lisped version of scissor, or do you voice the opening fricative to make it match there and thence? I’ve always been in the habit of saying the opening fricative as voiceless. Of course, an acquaintance at one time took pleasure in pointing out to me that it must be voiced, because there and thither are voiced. Pure logic.

And indeed the voiced version is correct. But the voiceless version is not incorrect – some dictionaries accept it; in fact, American and Canadian ones tend to give it as the first option. After all, why would we expect this one thing in English to be logical and consistent when so many other things aren’t? It does have one salient thing in its favour: it’s the older pronunciation.

You see, all those initial “th” sounds in Old English were voiceless. The voiced version was just an allophone – that is to say, it was thought of as the same sound, and it just picked up voicing when it was in the middle of a word between vowels (like the middle th). This was true of /s/ and /f/ too; the /z/ and /v/ sounds were not used as distinct sounds until Middle English, when the French influence came in. So thence and there – and that and the – were also, in their Old English versions, voiceless initially.

Of course, they all changed, so why not thither? But then again, why? Many originally similar forms have diverged over the centuries. And there is a nice softness to the voiceless version, fluttering like a feather. When you say “Into the Silent Land! Ah! Who shall lead us thither?” which version sounds better, is more soft and silent – which is easier to say, for that matter?

Not that it matters all that much; few people say thither now. Those who do are being poetic, or at least high-flown. Thither itself is slipping into the silent land, as did Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, as did Johann Gaudenz von Salis-Seewis, whose poem “Ins Stille Land” Longfellow translated into “Into the Silent Land,” as did Franz Schubert, who set Salis’s poem to music. The poem began in Germany, just as did thither, hither, whither, and all the Germanic words in the core of English.

It is a bit different-sounding in the German:

Ins stille Land!
Wer leitet uns hinüber?
Schon wölkt sich uns der Abendhimmel trüber,
Und immer trümmervoller wird der Strand.
Wer leitet uns mit sanfter Hand
Hinüber! Ach! hinüber
Ins stille Land?

Hinüber – “over there”. Somewhat different from thither, but it does start with a voiceless consonant. And how does it end? Like this (I’ll lead with a gentle hand – I’ll return to Longfellow’s translation):

Into the Silent Land!
To you, ye boundless regions
Of all perfection! Tender morning-visions
Of beauteous souls! The Future’s pledge and band!
Who in Life’s battle firm doth stand,
Shall bear Hope’s tender blossoms
Into the Silent Land!

O Land! O Land!
For all the broken-hearted
The mildest herald by our fate allotted,
Beckons, and with inverted torch doth stand
To lead us with a gentle hand
To the land of the great Departed,
Into the Silent Land!

And where is thither in these other two stanzas? Indeed, gone thither in advance.

Thanks to Margaret Gibbs for suggesting thither.