Tag Archives: word tasting notes

premiss

The first time I saw this spelling of the word premise, I thought, Oh, my, how prissy. Who are they trying to impress? Must be one of those special British things.

Of course, I was proceeding on the premise that premiss was a deviant spelling of premise. But, now, why would I assume that? After all, premiss is a more phonetically appropriate spelling. But I had seen premise all over the place, in various places and premises, and besides, who makes it even to the beginning of elementary school without knowing the word promise? And aren’t promise and premise related?

Indeed they are related. And not just because a premise is a sort of promise (if you present reasoning based on a given premise, you are saying to your addressee “I promise you this much is true”). The mise is the same mise, and the pre and pro are the “before” and “for” Latinate suffixes we know and use in so many places. But where does that mise come from?

From Latin mittere, that’s where, and more specifically from its past participle missa: “sent” or “put” – or, sometimes, “dismiss”. Oh, but hey, how about that dismiss? Isn’t that the same little miss again? Oh, yes, that miss is a hit, no mistaking.

So, then, why promise and premise with the mise? The answer to the second question is that premise is a spelling likely influenced by promise, or by the same source that gave promise its spelling. And what was that source? Why, the language more responsible than any other for the weirdness of English spelling: French. Even in modern French the past tense feminine of mettre “put” is mise, though of course it’s pronounced like “me’s”. (There is some indication of pronunciation of English promise with [z] at some times in past centuries, too.)

So, in fact, premiss is more in accord with the initially given conditions. But now even British spelling has left the premises – or I should say the premiss. The exception is in speaking of logical propositions (the original sense; the physical sense followed on the abstract sense, in a reversal of the usual order), where – rather more among the British – premiss is often used still.

But, you know, I can’t look at premiss without seeing it as having an extra hiss at the end. Of course it’s said just the same, but the look of it has the escaping-steam hiss of press; one might even have the sense that it simpers a little. And if you pluralize it, premisses, it looks like it might mean “misses in advance” – perhaps as in “I miss you already”? But that’s all seen though the prism of unfamiliarity, of course, which has its own logic.

Thanks to Roberto De Vido for suggesting premiss.

starling

“Well,” said Montgomery Starling-Byrd. “That’s startling.”

“A startling?” I said. “Would that be from start plus ling, meaning a little start? Perhaps a rough start?” (I knew perfectly well that startling is from start plus the suffix le plus the suffix ing and that, at any rate, what he was looking at was not the word startling.)

We were four at a table – Montgomery, Philip McCarr (of Scotland), Albert Denton (of Yorkshire), and I – at the Order of Logogustation’s autumn international meeting. For this session, words were pre-set at tables in envelopes, and the participants chose spots freely, then had to taste whatever word had been set at the place they chose.

“More to the point,” Montgomery said, holding up the slip of paper from his envelope, “that’s starling.”

“Weel, man,” said Philip, “you should have a bird, then.”

“I think I see a pattern,” I said, holding up my slip of paper. “Mine’s starlet.”

“That’s a little bird!” declared Albert. “In fact, a little darling,” he said, producing his slip of paper, on which darling was written.

“Oh dear,” said Montgomery, knowing that we all knew that darling comes from dear plus ling – the same ling as in starling, which may be a diminutive (as in gosling) or an indicator of membership or relation (as in earthling).

“Your little dear,” said Philip, “may earn a scarlet letter.” He held up his slip of paper: scarlet.

“She will if we pass ‘er in,” said Albert. (Starlings are passerine birds – built for perching like sparrows.)

“Aren’t you the cunning linguist,” I said to Albert.

“He’ll go wherever you let him,” Montgomery remarked.

“There’s room to let,” I replied. “Or room for two lets, anyway.”

“Not that they’re the same let,” Montgomery pointed out. True: the let in starlet is a diminutive suffix, but the let in scarlet is not a suffix at all; scarlet appears to come originally from a Persian word for rich cloth.

“Just as your stars aren’t the same,” I said. “You’re star-crossed.”

“I certainly know that,” Montgomery said. “I had it drilled into me quite sternly that our star is related to Latin sturnus, which refers to the same kind of bird.”

“You had it drilled intae yer sternum?” Philip said. “That would produce a scarlet! Or a full-sized scar!”

“Nothing to sneeze at,” said Albert, leaving it to all of us to connect sneeze with its Latin translation sternutare, seen in English sternutatory and sternutation.

“Look, man,” declared Philip, “it isnae quite fair that ye’re tasting yer own name.”

“I think you’re just stalling,” quipped Albert to Philip.

“Better that than Stalin,” Montgomery said. “But enough larking about; the bird’s the word. Like it or not –” he held up the slip admonitorily – “it’s myna.”

A lark is not a kind of starling, by the way – but a myna is.

gainsay

What? What do you mean by that? Say it again! Really! What do you have against me? What do you hope to gain by contradicting me like that? To gainsay me thus? Thou knave!

Hmmm… gainsay seems to have switched it onto a different track. Well, it will do that, and none may gainsay this observation: it’s a strongly literary, in fact archaic, word now. Funny, though – we may think of Latin and Greek as the source of flowery language, but this word – and it’s far from the only one such – is a purely Anglo-Saxon word that is considered high-flown while its Latinate counterpart, contradict, is now quite ordinary, the sort of word one may use with a small child. (Try this: next time you want to say to some three-year-old in your charge “Don’t contradict me,” say instead “Don’t gainsay me,” and see what that gets.)

So where is the gain in this word? Apart from before the say, I mean. Well, it’s not the gain of getting things; that’s a different word from a different source – it’s related to French gagner “win”. No, the gain in gainsay is related to German gegen “towards” and is the same gain as you see in against. Its Latin equivalent is contra. And since you know that dict is a Latin root relating to saying, you can see that contradict really is Latin for gainsay (although gainsay can also mean “deny”, “refuse”, or “oppose”).

But of course it can’t escape the flavour of increase and advantage that one gets from gain. There may be a feeling of the act of saying being like an act of snatching something from another person for oneself: when you gainsay, you gain the upper hand by saying.

The voiced velar onset /g/ may also seem to give it more richness than its unvoiced counterpart /k/ that starts contradict. In fact, while contradict is a hard, clicky word of “short” vowels that is said with a skip (that unstressed middle syllable), gainsay has two even syllables, each with the same “long” stressed vowel, and an overall smoother feel: a word fit for a proud character from Shakespeare or some Regency novel. Mind you, it also makes me think of Pig Latin (which you may know as Igpay Atinlay).

launder

I used to read Ann Landers. But I didn’t like seeing people air their dirty linen. Oh la la – you do not publish la underwear in le newspaper; you launder wear such as lingerie in the laundry. You do not want to moon Landers! Better to keep your short subject sweet and clean and smelling of lavender.

Have you ever noticed, by the way, how much lingerie sounds like laundry? Since it’s from linge, French for “linen”, and is related to fair la linge, “do the laundry” (literally “do the linen”), it would seem reasonable for laundry to be a modification of lingerie and for launder to be a backformation from it.

Reasonable, but false! In fact, launder is the older word, though laundry comes not so much directly from launder as from an earlier word that was derived from the earlier word that launder evolved from. And what did launder evolve from? As it happens, lavender.

But wait – there’s more. The lavender that launder comes from is not the lavender of fresh bathroom scents or Estée Lauder. No, this lavender comes from French lavandier, which comes from Latin lavandarius. The Latin meant “thing to be washed”, but by the time it hit English it meant “person who washes things”. Yes, launder was first a noun for someone who washes clothes. Then, after that, it was converted to a verb meaning “wash clothes” (yup, it was verbed – linguistic reactionaries, commence shuddering). And the derived lavendry became laundry.

Meanwhile, that lavender you smell was for a long time thought to be related to the Latin word for washing – after all, it is a fresh and clean scent, n’est-ce pas? But its source, Latin lavendula, appears to have come from livendula, not a lav- washing-related root. Its later form was quite likely influenced by the washing word, though.

My, the things that come out in the wash! But what, by the way, do we launder nowadays? Well, to look at the most common collocation of launder, it would seem to be money – specifically drug money or drug profits. Hm! I guess it’s true what they say about filthy lucre. Maybe all those drug kingpins should just come clean.

griot

The first thing to know about this word is that it does not rhyme with riot. And, though g is sometimes an email abbreviation for grin or grinning, and the act of saying this word might bring to mind a grin (or Tony the Tiger’s grrrreat), it is not a word for a grin riot, which would be like a quiet laugh riot. And speaking of Quiet Riot, it’s also not a word for a musical group.

Well, or, in fact, in a way, it is. And while a griot may not be a grin riot, he may cause one.

But let me turn back to the word itself first. It’s pronounced as French; it rhymes with rio, or, for that matter, with Krio, which is more to the point, since Krio is a creole language spoken in Sierra Leone, West Africa, and its name comes from creole, and griot for its part also comes from creole – I don’t mean it’s derived from the word creole, though it does sound like it; I just mean that as far as we can tell it comes from Portuguese criado “servant” by way of West African creoles. And then through French guiriot. That is not an etymology on which everyone will agree – oh, no; but one does need a story, you know.

Yes, every woman needs her story and every man needs his story, and history is one thing griots specialize in. Political commentary is another. Poetry and praise-songs also come into it. They need to know many long history songs, and they also need to be able to extemporize to suit the situation. You know those wandering minstrels and court jesters that one sees in depictions of medieval towns and courts? Griots are that sort of thing. Except that they’re in West Africa, they still exist, and they are in the main a separate endogamous caste – griots marry other members of their griot clan, and so on, and so on, and they are the only ones in their societies who do what they do (I mean sing history and praise-songs and political satire and so on).

In our current European-based societies, with electronic communication and large cities and so on, the roles a griot would play are filled by many different parties variously well – TV shows with satire and commentary, musicians on the radio and on CD, and so on. But griots can tailor to specific situations, and they come with specific local knowledge.

Which is why Alex Haley found griot accounts so useful when he was tracing his own ancestry for his book Roots. Living memory of history! And of his own particular ancestor, or so at least he thought. It turns out that tailoring to the situation may have come into it as well, though; while the stories he heard of Kunta Kinte no doubt gave a good view of life in that time and place, the specifics were not necessarily literally reliable for that specific individual.

Ah, but how is that any worse than the “history” presented for us by movies today? I think of Bottle Shock, a movie about the 1976 wine tasting in Paris in which California wines prevailed. One of the central subjects of the movie, Stephen Spurrier, has said “There is hardly a word that is true in the script and many, many pure inventions as far as I am concerned.” And even our accepted histories may have some filling in – I am put in mind of the words of the father of modern historical writing, Thucydides, in his History of the Peloponnesian War: “With reference to the speeches in this history, some were delivered before the war began, others while it was going on; some I heard myself, others I got from various quarters; it was in all cases difficult to carry them word for word in one’s memory, so my habit has been to make the speakers say what was in my opinion demanded of them by the various occasions, of course adhering as closely as possible to the general sense of what they really said.”

The word griot may put one in mind of a couple of others – perhaps French rigote or rigolo, “funny” or “joker”, which a griot may be at times, or Goriot, the name of a character by Honoré de Balzac, who in his role as depictor of his society with all its flaws served one of the roles of a griot. But in truth griot is not the word griots will necessarily use to name themselves. It’s not from a West African language, after all (of which, by the way, there are many, and quite diverse at that – some effectively unrelated to one another). If you wish to use a word they use for themselves, jali or jeli is what is used in languages of the Mande family, guewel in Wolof, gawlo in Fula, and igiiw in Hassaniyya Arabic. Now enjoy tasting those words too!

nuisance

Say you’re driving along a word – sorry, I mean a road – and all of a sudden there’s a stop sign or a stop light you didn’t expect. “Hm!” You say. “That’s new since I was last through here! …What a nuisance!”

Well, now, driving through this word, nuisance, there’s also a stop sign in the middle, though it’s not a new one: right after the u, which you pronounce, there’s this i which you sail right through (without getting a ticket). For many speakers of English, it may seem that the i and u are reversed, because there’s a glide into the vowel ([nju]); for Canadian speakers generally, it’s just [nu] and the vowel is tout nu without any glide on or off. Quel nuisance!

So why’s the i there? I’m tempted to say it just seems to suit it. But that line would not be fruitful. In fact, we have a small suite of words that have this ui, and they’re not like that just to keep the i off U.I. In fact, they all come from French. But, ah, it would be too easy if it were just a French [wi] being reinterpreted as an [u] or [ju] in English without changing the spelling.

Fruit comes from Latin fructus by way of Old French fruit, but the English spelling originally tended to leave out the i; it might equally keep the c instead. The i seems to have been reintroduced.

Suit, for its part, traces back originally to popular Latin sequita, and showed up in English in the 13th century as siwte and then by the 15th century generally as sute. But we also see soyt and soyte in 16th-century use. Our modern suite was originally the same word and split off only about four centuries ago. In all this there was doubtlessly also cross-influence from French; when French came to have it as suite, hey presto, guess what we had in English.

But then we come to nuisance. It seems straightforward by comparison. Its source is Anglo-Norman French: nuisance. It showed up in 15th-century English as nusance, indicating a loss already of the glide; but then within a century we see nuysance. And newsance also appears. It reverted to the spelling nuisance probably with an eye to etymology (there was a vogue for a time in English for etymological respellings, so people could see where their words come from – this gave us assorted silent letters, such as in doubt and debt and falcon – well, the l is no longer silent).  But here’s the good part: In French, the word nuisance fell out of general use between the 17th and mid-20th centuries; the modern French use is most likely influenced by the English usage. Turnabout is fair play, eh!

But of course we say it one way and the French say it another. To English ears, the French [nwizãs] may almost seem charming (because it sounds so French), and it has that “yes”-sounding [wi] (as in oui) in the middle and a [z] to balance the [s]. The English version [nusIns], by contrast, reminds us of noose, while [njusIns] and [nIwsIns] might have a taste of no use, and the consonants are [n], [s], [n], [s], all noses and hisses. We may note a similar difference in sound between the cognate pair French ennuyer and English annoy – and the English word is irritated, while the French one is simply bored.

Well, etymology and spelling can be a nuisance. But a fascinating one.

whimsy

Jess had just come into the kitchen at Domus Logogustationis, where Daryl, Margot, and I were lolling about. “It looks like something’s moving in your jacket,” Daryl said, eyeing Jess’s windbreaker. He looked again, blinked. “Wow, that was weird. Gave me the whim-whams.”

“More likely the fantods, you mean,” Margot remarked. “A whim-wham is more like a fantastic notion.”

“Or a fantastical object,” I said. “Or an ornament of dress. Like, say, a little pair of cat ears on a brooch.” I gestured to Jess’s neckline, where just such an ornament was apparent.

Then the ornament turned its head and mewed.

“Gentlemen,” Jess said, “and lady, meet Whimsy.”

We reacted as you might expect, kittens being the cutest things in all of creation: “Awww!” We clustered around.

“What gave you the notion to name it Whimsy?” Daryl asked. Jess responded with a don’t-feed-me-straight-lines raised-eyebrow look.

“Is this a he or a she?” Margot asked.

“A him,” Jess said. “There is, after all, a him in Whimsy.”

“What made you decide to get a kitten?” I asked.

Jess gave me the same kind of look she had given Daryl. But then she decided to answer anyway. “Well, it wasn’t whimsy or some whim. It’s always unwise to get a pet on a notion – they’re a commitment. No, I had decided that I needed a touch of whimsy in my life. And here – ow!” The kitten was climbing up her shirt and onto her shoulder.

“Was that a whimper?” I asked.

“Not that I’m a wimp or anything,” she said. She stroked Whimsy. “Well, listen up and you’ll hear a Whimsy purr.” Pause. “Speaking of purr, I came in here to find some milk. And a saucer. Now where, how, what…” She looked around.

“Don’t forget whom, when, and why,” Margot observed dryly.

“Ah, well,” Jess said, striding towards the cupboards, “my favourite wh word is definitely whimsy. Once you’ve done with the details you still need flights of fancy.”

“As long as your whims don’t carry you with the winds,” Margot said.

“Why don’t you have a cat?” Daryl asked Margot.

“If I did, I’d more likely have quinsy. Tonsillitis. I’m allergic.”

“So am I,” I sighed. “One of the great tragedies of my life.” Margot opened her mouth to issue another correction; I pre-empted it. “Yes, I know that it’s not technically a tragedy: there is no hubris, no hamartia, no climax, no crisis… let it go.”

“Speaking of ‘let it go,'” Jess said, attempting to lift the kitten off her shoulder, “Whimsy has developed a whimsical attachment to my shirt.” She shrugged off her jacket and tried again to get the kitten delicately off her shirt, which appeared to be made of silk. “Oww.”

Daryl lent a hand and lifted the kitten off. Unfortunately, the result was a noticeable tear in the shirt.

“Huh,” Jess said, poking her finger into the hole. “Flimsy.”

Thanks to Marie-Lynn Hammond for saying Whimsy would be a good name for a kitten.

kneck

One of the disadvantages of a weird language like English, with its multifarious exceptions and irregularities and a spelling system so divergent from pure phonological representation as to border on the ideographic, is a reflexive preference for the marked.

I am here using marked in the linguistic sense, meaning “exceptional, unusual, distinct from the normative pattern”. When confronted with a choice between a form that seems simple and logical and one that defies common sense, and in the absence of any clear or authoritative sense of which to choose, we will typically choose the weird one on the assumption that it must be the right one or why would it be there? And the more simple and logical one will tend to be taken as informal or simply incorrect.

One may greet such observations with a wry smile, but admit it: it’s a twisted state of affairs. In the world of linguistic intercourse, English is among the kinkiest. And its users are like people who have lived in a madhouse so long they’ve forgotten what sane is (sort of like people who think it’s somehow normal to need two tons of metal to move a hundred fifty pounds of person a couple of miles… but I digress). Why else would I ever have heard a person evince the assumption that the name Waugh is to be pronounced like “way”? Why else would so many people firmly (though erroneously) believe that one of the most consistent and inflexible rules in English – that we use an before a vowel sound and a before a consonant sound, as shown by examples such as an hour, a use, a house, an umbrella – would have one exception, to be defended to the death: an historic? And why else would we see, in more places than you might think, the word neck spelled kneck?

Well, now, I’ll be fair: nobody is spelling it, say, pneck or neach (although it occurs to me that the first time I heard someone speak of the town of Teaneck in New Jersey, I assumed it was spelled Tionech – I was a teen at the time, by the way). There is a second force at work here: analogy. We have, after all, a word knock, another one knack, and a body part called knee and another called knuckle. And neck is a short word and not a fancy one. So the weirdness here is at least a consistent weirdness. But still, neck is a common word. A person will have seen it thousands of times by the age of 20. And yet enough of these people nevertheless spell it kneck to produce more than 400,000 hits on Google.

But wait, you say. Are all those Google hits really for the misspelling of neck? Well, no, not all; certainly not all for the unintentional spelling – I suspect the founders of a company called Knife In Ya Kneck Records may know better – but also there are a few places where another word kneck is defined: it means “the twisting of a rope or cable as it is running or being put out”.

So there! It’s a real word! Ha! Well, except that is rare and obsolete, and appears in the first place to have been a variant on kink. Incidentally, kink for its part originally meant “bend” and is related to an Icelandic word kikna meaning “bend at the knee”. But one may have a kink in the neck, too, after all (and we may wonder whether some faint notion of this comes to play in the spelling kneck, with its extra angularity and knockiness).

In fact, there’s even a medical condition in which the neck has a chronic kink due to muscle spasms: it’s called wry neck. I may note wryly that I have in various places seen people write this Rye neck, apparently assuming that it’s a toponym like Lyme disease, or perhaps just that it comes from excessive consumption of Canadian whisky. Well, either way, I understand – for those interested in traditional herbals – that one may treat it with kinnikinnik. (With what? Oh, it’s also called bearberry. But frankly, I would sooner recommend physical therapy, and perhaps muscle relaxants or anticholinergics.) I’m not sure, though, what the treatment would be for getting one’s neck – or perhaps one’s knose – out of joint at a misspelling.

pith

Of course, one can’t taste this word without getting an overtone of some similar words, and one in particular comes to mind. And it’s possible that it and pith are related.

I’m talking about pit, of course. As in the stone of a fruit: the centre, the heart, and imagistically the source of strength. Way back in the Germanic origins this word and that one may have been related.

But pith doesn’t refer to the stone of a fruit; if it’s part of a fruit at all, it’s the part between the rind and the flesh, for instance that white stuff in an orange. That’s not its original referent, however; first of all, pith refers to a soft, internal, spongy part, for instance in the stem of a plant, or the heart of a tree. Or the heart of the spinal cord or white matter of the brain in a person or animal, or the marrow of the bone (all three of which have been called medulla in Latin – actually, the definition of medulla is, among other things, “pith”).

So, for instance, the verb pith can mean to dispatch an animal with a spike to its brain stem. We would not call that taking the pith because it’s not really a removal, simple a muddling of the medulla; and although the creature is thereby done off with, it is not said to be pithed off. But it certainly has had its vigour ablated.

Which reminds me of another word this is reminiscent of. I mean, naturally, pitch. Shakespeare scholars will be familiar with the different versions of Hamlet’s most famous soliloquy, wherein he refers to “enterprises of great pith and moment” – or “of great pitch and moment.” Hmm, have currents been turned awry? Well, no, we may say that pitch is a bit of a modernization. In the original, anyway, the sense of pith is “importance” or “weight”, which comes from “energy” and “core” and “strength”, all senses that derive from the sense “innermost part”. This is thus no mere matter of pith and vinegar; it is, indeed, the shining golden stream flowing through the core: the sap. Well, or, more to the point, the wood through which the sap flows. Take the pith and you have sapped the person, leaving them pith-poor.

I find this word has a good sound for what it signifies; the opening /p/ is crisp, bright, the vowel insistent, and the final fricative soft as pith often is. Ironically, the whole thing is said right at the front of the mouth, not at all in the heart. As to the collocations, they vary in tone: pith ball refers to a light thing, made of pith originally, hanging on a string, repelled by static electricity. On the other hand, pith helmet names something with distinct adventuresome overtones – a helmet made for tropical exploits, a light thing formed from dried pith of certain kinds of Aeschynomene plants.

And there are, of course, other echoes and overtones. Path may enter in, though the vowel change really does seem to make a difference. Kith might come up, though it’s not exactly a common word. And piffle may sneak in, though that second syllable pulls it away. You may think of another word or two that this one is reminiscent of (but unrelated to). If you do, and are tempted to send me a terse reply, allow me simply to remind you that there’s no need to be pithy about it. Let the words stream forth!

Thanks to Dan Gross for asking for pith.

little, small

Two little words – or should I say two small words – that seem at first glance to mean just about the same thing. They’re both Germanic-derived words that have been in English longer than there’s been an English to be in. They even have some similarities of form: both have /l/, both have voiceless consonants (though the /t/ in little tends to be realized in many dialects – including mine – as more of a [d] as it releases into the /l/), both have double upright letters, both have two l’s. So what’s the difference? Is there any? Even a little?

Well, there’s one difference right there, of course: there are some usages each has that the other does not. A little is a little amount, and a small is an item of small size, for instance. You also can’t go small by small; it has to be little by little. Likewise, while both may seem opposites of big, only little is an opposite of much, and on the other hand one seldom hears little rather than small in counterpoise to great (all creatures great and little?).

There are differences in sound, too – especially the number of syllables, which will often make the difference in choice, depending on the rhythm of the phrase (twinkle, twinkle, small star?). Differences in rhyme and in similar-sounding words add to the flavour differentiation: little plays with middle, tweedle, beetle, puddle, battle, bottle, twitter, glitter, jot and tittle, and so on, while small plays with tall, all, pall, call, hall, wall, fall, gall, mall, and so on, plus the various sm words to greater or lesser extent.

The best way to differentiate these two words is to see what they are – and aren’t – served with. Let’s start with little:

You have little fingers and little toes. Whether any of these is a small finger or a small toe is a separate issue.

Your little brother or little sister likewise may or may not be a small brother or small sister.

And your grandmother might be a little old lady, and if she is, she is likely a small old lady, but would you call her that? And would her husband have called her the small woman instead of the little woman?

Louisa May Alcott, after all, didn’t write a book called Small Women. Nor did Laura Ingalls Wilder write Small House on the Prairie, nor did T.S. Eliot write a poem “Small Gidding” nor Dickens write a novel Small Dorrit. (There was also no small Orphan Annie or small boy blue.)

Winnie-the-Pooh is a “bear of little brain.” Is he a bear of small brain? Separate question.

Speaking of bears, Ursa Minor is also the Little Dipper. Not the Small Dipper.

And Custer’s last stand was not at Small Big Horn. Nor is Small Rock the capital of Arkansas.

You can stay a little while; would you ever stay a small while? How about if you were in the small boys’ room or small girls’ room? Oops, that should be little boys’ room or little girls’ room.

If you go to a little (or even a small) soirée, you may wear or see a little black dress, but how about a small black dress? Doesn’t that depend on the wearer’s size?

And if you’re getting an award, you may thank the little people, but it’s a separate matter whether you have any small people to thank (even just a small bit – I mean a little bit).

Anyway, you hope nobody learns about your dirty little secrets (not your dirty small secrets), whether or not they involve a little blue pill (not a small blue pill).

Now, on the other hand, let’s look at small things. Arundhati Roy didn’t write a book called The God of Little Things, after all. Richard Carlson doesn’t have a book out called Don’t Sweat the Little Stuff. J.B. Phillips didn’t write Your God Is Too Little. Frances Moore Lappe didn’t write Diet for a Little Planet. We’ve already established why James Herriot didn’t write All Creatures Great and Little – or, well, more to the point, why the writer of the hymn “All Things Bright and Beautiful,” from which Herriot took the line, didn’t write it thus first. (Notice how many of these titles are non-fiction, compared to all the fiction littles, though?) And Neil Armstrong didn’t take “one little step for [a] man… one giant leap for mankind.”

Speaking of print, you don’t look at contracts to scrutinize the little print. Not even if you’re running a little business – or do you mean a small business?

If you find out, while making small talk (not little talk), that some new acquaintance knows someone else you know, you probably won’t say little world!

And if you have a party, it may last till the small hours, but what the heck would the little hours be?

If you are asked for coins by someone on the street, he wants your small change, but he’d probably rather have more than little change. (Especially if he wants to be more than a small-time player.)

And if you give him some help, is it due to a still little voice at the back of your head, or – rather – to a still small voice?

Say instead you decide to spend your money on a hunting rifle to go after small game (not little game). Do you get a little-bore rifle? A small-bore one, rather.

But that’s all small potatoes. (I don’t mean to say it’s little potatoes.)  Skip the guns. Buy kitchen equipment. If a recipe book asks you to mix a little brandy with a little melted butter, say, it will probably tell you to do so in a small bowl – there are little bowls in the world, but small is a specified size whereas little, it seems, is a more impressionistic description. Small is used for sizes in particular, while little can be used for amounts, and is perhaps more likely to be used without literal reference to size (which is why your nasty little friend can be a fair-sized person). Small is a word you use with a measuring tape, and little a word you use peering through a magnifier, an airplane window, or a mental lens.

Sometimes there can be variation, too. We know about small towns – John Cougar Mellencamp, the Bronski Beat, Journey, and many others have sung about them. On the other hand, Simon and Garfunkel sang about “My Little Town.”

And then there are sayings, wherein a little often goes a long way – or a small does, anyway. Actors often say “There are no small parts, just small actors” – sometimes to perk themselves up when working on a bit part, but often to needle a fellow actor who has mentioned modestly that he has just a small part. Could we say “There are no little parts, just little actors”?

Oh, and how about this classic: “Little things amuse little minds.” Oops, that’s “Small things amuse small minds.” This is typically used as a put-down by someone trying to present themselves as mature and superior. But in my observation, small minds often need very big things to amuse them: explosions, car crashes, what have you. On the other hand, would you say someone who can extract this much fun out of two small words is small minded? I hope not, since you have read this far…