croodle

There is good proximity and bad proximity. There is closeness that makes you purr and closeness that makes you grrr. You may go out (say, to walk the poodle) and find yourself beset by oodles of rude dudes, rushing and brushing and pushing and crushing, and your nerves will curdle and something crude’ll escape your lips and you’ll want to do away with the whole brutal kit and caboodle. So what’ll you do? Maybe go home and cuddle up in bed with your loved one or your pet or both (or maybe they’re the same) and bill and coo like two doves in a nest, cozy and comfy. You will croodle.

What is croodle? Well, true, it’s not a new word, nor a current one, nor one that has ever been especially Canadian or American. It’s more of a Scottish one, and generally disused now. But so what. I like it, I want it, I am picking it up and cuddling it close to me like a crocheted teddy bear.

Croodleis a word for two actions, both of which doves do when they are happily nesting. One means ‘gather close together’ – as in ‘cuddle or snuggle’ or as in ‘cower or huddle’ (as, for instance, to escape the cold) – and is related to the word crowd. The other means ‘make a low murmuring sound’ – as in the cooing of a dove or something similar, quieter than crooning, perhaps even a purr. Yes, I’m sure a pile of kittens would be croodling in both ways… although I must admit the “oo” has more of a high sound to it, a tribble kind of treble.

Who could refuse such a goodly croodling?

2018 Winter Olympic venues (pronunciation tip)

The Winter Olympics are coming soon, and with them a bounty of failed attempts at approximating the pronunciation of non-English names. I look forward to hearing broadcasters come up with remarkable renditions, but for those who would like to get as close as reasonably possible to the original, I’m going to do a series of pronunciation tip videos. I’m starting with the names of the venues: Pyeongchang, Gangneung, Kwandong, Jeongseon, Yongpyong, and Bokwang.

Fahrenheit

How are you faring in this chill weather? In Toronto, anyone who rides or drives from neighbourhood to livelihood is in for a brisk experience the moment they step into the outside.

How cold is it? It depends on where you are, of course, but in Toronto it is scheduled to pass –18˚ Celsius within 24 hours. For you Americans, that’s below 0˚ Fahrenheit.

I say “for you Americans” because Americans are pretty much alone in the world in adhering to their non-metric measurement scales. While the rest of us deal tidily in decimal, Americans luxuriate in units more suited to measuring quidditch scores and potion portions at Hogwarts. Continue reading

celsitude, Celsius

It’s that season when the Celsius sits incessantly at unnecessarily insufficient celsitude. But in compensation we raise our spirits – well chilled as they may be – to much more suitable celsitude. And as the last year represented in many ways for many people a nadir, now that we have sung our gloria in excelsis, there is no direction to go but up, excelsior! And may we excel and accelerate.

What is celsitude? Height. And highness. It comes from Latin celsus, ‘lofty, high, sublime’. That root shows up also in excelsis, excelsior, and excel, but not accelerate (that comes from celer ‘fast, swift’ – which, by the way, is not related to celery). We don’t use celsitude much anymore (if we ever really did), and when we do, Oxford tells me, it is mainly for jokey effect. But why not have an attitude of excelling in the highest? No need to sit secluded. Take to the air, rise to the empyrean. To celsitude!

Where, we may hope, it will be warmer than it is now. In Toronto, where I live, the current forecast doesn’t see us crossing above zero for a fortnight at least. One easy hack for that would be to reverse the temperature scale: make freezing 100 and boiling 0. Then we would at least cool ourselves with lower numbers as it got hotter and warm ourselves with higher numbers as it got colder, so that no matter which way it went, something would be getting celsius. Continue reading

Brueghel (pronunciation tip)

Time for another pronunciation tip video! I think I’ll do a goodly number of these in the run up to the Winter Olympics, since there are always plenty of words and names that give people trouble. But today’s is on a New Year’s Eve theme, and it’s an artist – one whose name quite a lot of people have trouble with.

recombobulation

You know what discombobulation means, right? It’s a jokey term meaning ‘upset, confuse, put out of order’. It comes from a 19th-century American fad for fake-highfalutin words. Absquatulate (‘leave, get out’) is another such. Discombobulation starts with clear, well-known parts – dis indicating an undoing, com indicating joining or togetherness – and ends with ation, which makes it clearly a noun formed from a verb of doing or making, and if you know your Latin bits well you may also recognize the probably diminutive ul before that. But in the middle is this bob that is just… um a thingamabob. Probably the same bob as in thingamabob, even. The earliest form of discombobulate, seen in 1825, is discomboberate; in 1834 there’s a discombobracate. But by 1839 we were seeing discombobulation for the noun.

Anyway. The general logic of English derivational morphology tells us that if something can be discombobulated, it was probably previously combobulated, and it may by implication in the future be recombobulated (provided the discombobulation isn’t irreversible). Neither of those latter two is in any standard published dictionary, but so what? They’re no less understandable than discombobulated, and I for one am perfectly gruntled by them. Continue reading

Genders of the world

My latest article for The Week is on grammatical gender and how it shows up in different languages – when it does. You’d think it might be a dry topic, but some people seem awfully exercised about it lately.

How the world’s languages handle thorny gender issues

The many names of Christmas: the podcast

A couple of years ago, I did an article for The Week on the names different languages have for Christmas, and how many of them have no “Christ” in them. This year we’ve made a podcast of it, so you can hear me actually say all these different names. It’s not that long…

Almost every language has a word for ‘Christmas.’ Few reference Christ.

edulcoration

Drawing out this word in oration is a sure sign of edumacation. It’s a true verbal decoration, not some dull coloration. It’s hardcore and may elude your readers, so ration it like sweets. Use it sparingly like sugar.

Which also, I suppose, means go nuts with it for a short time each year. Well, if there’s an edulcoration time, it’s…

Hallowe’en, frankly, with all that candy, but if you want to draw it out longer, make it Advent and Christmas. Or, if you prefer, use it quickly at Purim or for longer at Hanukkah. Or you could always go with Diwali, I guess…

Edulcorating your diet is fun, but you can also edulcorate your words. Sweeten them, is what I mean. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, right? Edulcorate comes from e ‘out’ (as in e pluribus unum) and dulcor ‘sweetness’, and originally it meant to bring sweetness out – not to draw it out and remove it, but to bring it to the surface for tasting, just as educate comes from Latin for ‘draw out’. Edulcorate can also mean ‘remove harsh impurities’. Both of these relate nicely to making your words pleasant to eat, always a wise consideration given that you may be the one eating them.

Interestingly, vinegar can be used to edulcorate other things. This is convenient, because it turns out that flies actually love vinegar. But vinegar is not sweet or smooth. Not even pure vinegar. On the other hand, you can sweeten vinegar with sugar and get sweet and sour, which is pretty nice. (Even salt-and-vinegar potato chips have some sweetness added, often using lactose.)

Edulcorate, then, your words, and your times, and your relations… and your palate. Take the festive season and sweeten it to pure pleasantry (perhaps with the aid of a little fun tartness). But go easy; under some influences, edulcoration can get mixed up into a loud reaction that could cloud or curdle your recreation.

glögg (pronunciation tip)

What’s the next level after glühwein? Take it up to Scandinavia and put it on hyperdrive – the beverage, that is, not the word. The Scandinavian word for the drink – glögg or gløgg – is shorter and should be straightforward enough. Except it involves a sound not typically made by sober Anglophones. Here’s my advice on saying it: